Dorkus Maximus

All over Twitter lately, graduating seniors have been going on and on about last days of class, things they will miss about Stillwater and all that jazz. One of those soon-to-be-grads, GPaul, is one of those super students who wins all kinds of awards and stuff.

Once upon a time, I was one of those seniors, except without the whole leaving Stillwater thing and winning awards, but whatever....I digress.

That GPaul, he's also my friend. So, since he will soon be gone, I need to hurry up and embarrass him with ancient photos of his ultimate dorkiness.
He sure is excited about school...that must be how he won so many awards. :)

Love and hearts and all that stuff.

I looked for a new facebook pic today. As I was scrolling through my photos and listening to this, I realized I've been married 9 months. It's a crazy feeling, since it feels like it's been just weeks since our wedding.

Marriage is a crazy thing. No matter how prepared you feel, nothing compares to that first fight when you're living together and you realize you can't just escape to your apartment for a breather. And although I loved Mitch before we got married, I find moments where I feel myself loving him more and more.

Of course there are also moments where I look at him and think, "Good Lord, what have I gotten myself into?" Fortunately, those are few and far between...and usually involve him talking to himself in the shower (Who does that, I mean...weirdo.)

Marriage is amazing, rewarding, stressful and more challenging than I thought, but I'm so happy we did it. I must really be feeling the love today.

(Because I was feeling so lovey today, I picked this picture, which I love, for Facebook. Laugh lines are signs of a happy life, right?)

I'm taking over.

You know, until I started working at the library, I never knew just how many services it offered. Really. I mean, I knew how to check out books and laptops, about the journals and articles, etc. But one thing I definitely did NOT realize is how many people work at the library and how many different departments comprise it.

But, today I trained to work 24-hour access for finals week and learned how to work security and circulation. I'm pretty sure I can basically run the library now. Maybe I should tell the Dean that...she's probably going to be pretty pumped about it.

I'm set now for my two overnight shifts: Monday morning 2-7:30 am and Thursday 2-7:30. I'm so looking forward to them. Bonnie said you can usually catch someone having a breakdown, so I'm pretty pumped for that. Witnessing one, not the fact that it's happening, of course. Geez people, what do you think I am, a monster?

P.S. Feeling much better. I think my body might have actually been able to fight off the infection. If so, this will be a first!

I'm starting to sound like Bea Arthur...

The promised sinus infection is here. My voice has dropped at least 2 octaves and my nose is stuffed like, well....a tortellini. I couldn't think of anything, cut me some slack! Rats, I was really trying to avoid that whole staying sick thing since I have to work 2-7 a.m. next week a couple times.

Speaking of...I'm actually really excited about working the overnight shift at the Library. I always wondered what went on overnight at the Library during finals week, and now I'll be working security for that time. Expect frequent twitter updates.

As of now, however, I'm so drowsy. I needed allergy meds so I got some of the good stuff. You know, the stuff they keep behind the pharmacy counter because you can use it to make meth. Wait, is this just an Oklahoma thing or do all stores across the nation control ephedrine? Curious...

But my real question is: these cold meds are making me ridiculously drowsy. Like head falling into desk drowsy. BUT, people make meth out of this stuff, and they say meth is an incredible upper. So I say, what gives?

UPDATE: Oh my God, Bea Arthur died last night. Please note, my title does not mean I sound dead....ok, this is sounding less right by the minute. Umm, thanks Bea Arthur, you were awesome. Loved you in Golden Girls.

Dream Come True...

I discovered lately that home decorating and furnishings are my new addiction. I just have this overwhelming desire to make our home the most attractive and best functioning it can be.

So when Mitch and I went to Sears today to look for appliances, I was in heaven. And the best part is, we found a washer that is absolutely amazing.

Yeah, I know, it's just a little sad that I'm this excited about a washing machine, but whatever...I do a lot of laundry.

The Kenmore Elite Oasis dryer...machine of my dreams. It's a top loader with no agitator, so it saves 70% on water and 65% on power. And it will wash 20 full-size bath towels. Y'all, I don't even own that many bath towels. I'm in love.

Maybe Sears will give this to me for free because of all my free publicity.

(We won't tell them I have 3 readers, k?)

Much To-Do About Nothing

Today's to-do list:
1: Change sheets.
1.5: Do not let dog sleep on sheets tonight, no matter how much he whines.

2: Finish laundry.
2.5: Actually put laundry away instead of letting it sit on the laundry chair for oh, two weeks.

3: Clean out storage room.
3.5: Have Mitch clean out storage room. It's mostly his crap anyway.

4: Go to gym.
4.5: Think about working out and eat frozen chocolate chips instead.

How sad, 4.5 is the only one I've done so far...sigh.

Hit the Cut-Off Man!

Our Library softball team had a doubleheader today. What an exciting adventure, right?

Wrong. It was actually an adventure in controlling my anger so that I didn't swing a bat at my teammate.

Don't get me wrong, I love most of the people on my team, no matter the skill level. Honestly. I LOVE having fun playing with these people.

Except for one. The one who continually ignores me when I'm standing there yelling for him to throw me the ball. The one who seems to think that his throw to home plate from the fence is a better decision than throwing it to me. THAT, my friends, really frustrates me.

But, I did have a lovely dinner with John and Bonnie....so I guess we're even, Friday.


Imagine this scene, but with me as Tom Hanks...and with a LOT more profanity. It's coming, people. I swear.

Jackie Joyner-Amazing

The Library had two extra seats today for a very lovely event focusing on women and philanthropy, so Bonnie and I got to attend. Olympic gold medalist and notable philanthropist Jackie Joyner-Kersee was the keynote speaker.

The woman is amazing. She came from very meager beginnings, lost her mother suddenly while she was in college, became the greatest woman athlete in track and field, and most importantly, gave of herself to create better opportunities for those disadvantaged children in her hometown.

I may not be able to win a heptathalon, but I can only hope that I can leave a legacy of giving like she has done.

The Valerie Trammell Center for Kids That Don't Read Good, here we come!

41 minutes to spare

Almost didn't get a blog in for today...that would really have made me angry. And you don't want to see me angry. [Insert green eyes and bulging green muscles]

It's not that I didn't want to blog today, I did. Honest!

It's just....I didn't DO anything.

7:30 am: Woke up after a wickedly weird dream in which a half baboon/half man (babman? manoon?) attacked me. Thanks low-grade fever, that was a strange one.

11:30 am: Woke up again, feeling very disoriented and like my throat was full of broken glass.

12:30 pm: Turkey sandwich. Oreos. High point of day.

3:30 pm: Spent 2 hours learning where Biblical landmarks are on current maps. Go History Channel!

7:30 pm: Dragged my butt out of the house to take a short walk with the husband and the dog. Einstein peed so much that eventually he resorted to pooping (despite having pooped twice in the 10 minutes BEFORE the walk) to mark his territory. Man, that dog stores poop to be used strategically. What a weirdy.

11:18: Blogging. I'm sure you're all just giddy to hear about my special day!

Damn.

At the doctor's office today, I got some good news and some bad news.

Bad news:
1. The reason I get chronic sinus infections could be a direct result of having my nose broken. Thus, I might have to have the nose job I've been putting off for years. I mean, I hear those are really, really painful.

2. This sore throat I have is just going to get worse, as it is the result of a viral infection and must be allowed to run its course. Eventually, ulcers/sores will develop on the back of my throat. Basically, the doctor said it would be like having the back of my throat covered in canker sores. The pain I'm feeling now is just from the pre-sores....oh crap.

3. I'm definitely infectious. Sorry Bonnie! Of course, I had to get it somewhere....This virus (known as hand, foot and mouth disease) has an incubation period of 3-6 days, so I'm looking at you, Typhoid Maggie!

4. Because of my anatomically defected nose (Doc's words, not mine!) and my tendency toward sinus infections, the doctor said it is very likely I will develop a sinus infection on top of this viral infection. Hooray!

Good news:
1. Umm, there's no more bad news?

The time we saw a basketball game...

Once upon a time, my dad got really ridiculously good seats for an OKC Thunder basketball game. Like really, really good.
Mitch was excited about the seats! Exclamation point!
We were close enough to see Kevin Durant hit about a bazillion shots in a row. He's crazy good. (That ball bouncing off the rim must be someone else's, because I really don't think he ever missed a warm-up shot.)
We were very excited...some of us more than others.
The Thunder lost, which is no big surprise, but it was one heck of a time. Thanks Mom and Dad! (look how cute my parents are....just adorable.)

30 days straight of blogging can really wear on a person, but it does give me a chance to rehash some memories, which is truly wonderful.

On the not wonderful side, however, I'm sick again. That man in the photo above gave me some lousy genes in the allergy/sinus department, and I'm definitely feeling it today. Blech.

Don't worry loyal reader(s?), I self-medicated with Chipotle. Guacamole has some medicinal benefits, right?

The time I tried to dance

Once upon a time, I went to a concert. At the concert, I thought I would sneak up and booty dance on my friend Megan's little brother, who is notoriously shy. We thought it would be so funny to see Shawn turn bright red when the newly married woman put her booty near him.

This was the result:
He totally went with it, which definitely surprised the heck out of me. Well done, Shawn. Well done.

Clumsy is as clumsy does...

Did I ever tell you about the time I had a unicorn horn? No?

One day, I thought it would be a good idea to play flag football. It worked out so well for our team that we ended up in the championship game. Go Team!

During the last few minutes of that thrilling game, I caught a pass on a 5-yard out pattern and turned upfield....right into the girl who was playing defense on me. We collided, hitting heads against each other with a sick amount of force. I got up and assured everyone that I was fine. Ha.

1 hour after the collision:
The best part was when all that swelling went down...into my eyes.
So Mitch and I did all our Christmas shopping in a crowded mall in Oklahoma City with me looking like an abuse victim.

It didn't help that right as we were walking into JCrew, as I was complaining about people staring that he shouted, "Shouldn't have talked back then!"

Thanks hon.

Epic Post of Nothingness

1. Can we talk about my nightmare? Remember how people always say you can't eat/breathe things and then have them grow inside you? Like the scary stories about spider eggs? Check this out...I realize it's not spider eggs, but seriously, oh my laws. I hope I don't have a potted plant growing in my abdomen.

2. I got a giant candy bar at work today. A 7-oz. dark chocolate bar given to me by the Dean as a pat on the back for a job well done. I'm all warm and fuzzy inside!

3. I think my left shoulder has tendonitis again. Last time this happened, it took muscle relaxers to eliminate the pain, and let me tell you, that was an exciting time for everyone around me when I was on those...wooohooo!

4. We saw a man outside the Library today with a miniature dachshund on a leash. When he got to the building, he shoved it in his backpack and closed the backpack up! What is wrong with people? That can NOT be healthy.

Speaking of healthy, I managed to go the entire day (so far) without Chipotle. I'll let you know if I experience guacamole withdrawals...

My Name is Valerie, and I have a Problem

In our marriage, Mitch and I like to tell the other one how to do things, namely, "You should do it this way (read: my way) rather than your way."

As a result, we both often get that smug sense of being right when the other one just wouldn't listen. And sometimes we get that crappy feeling of knowing you should have just quit being stubborn and listened to your spouse.

Yesterday, I came home to Mitch throwing a raggedy brown ball for Einstein in the front yard. He was so pumped because Einstein was actually playing fetch, which is a rarity for our weirdoggy. Then I walked in the house and noticed bits of white plastic everywhere. The ragged ball was the inside of what used to be an intact golf ball. Mitch walked inside and explained that Einstein chewed it up while Mitch was in class earlier that day.

"We have a new agreement," Mitch declared. "He gets to stay out in the house when I'm gone as long as he behaves himself and doesn't poop." (I could devote days of material to how much my dog vindictively poops when he's mad at us for leaving him in the house when we do something fun.)

"It's working out really well for us," Mitch said confidently. I was feeling so nice, I ignored the fact that the dog destroying a golf ball wasn't even a blip on Mitch's radar as "bad behavior." What I couldn't ignore was the pile of poop I discovered in my husband's closet. Haha, a definite I-Told-You-So moment.

That smug superiority was completely lost today when I had to admit to myself that I have absolutely no self-control.

Exhibit A:
I'm so ashamed. (Mitch, you were right, I am addicted to Chipotle. There, I said it. That's Step 1, right?)

Good and Bad

Good: Wore new suit and orange suede peep toe pumps. Felt very professional and business-y.
Bad: Lost all feeling of professionalism when I spilled marinara sauce on my shirt and again when I used the word "business-y."

Good: Had interview with lovely people for a job at the company where my dad works which would be a tidy increase in pay.
Bad: Being introduced to people by my father during our tour of the news station made me feel like people were judging me and thinking I was only there because of my dad.

Good: Had dinner at Chipotle (seriously guys, do you see my problem) with my friend Michele, who I love so much.
Bad: I ate Chipotle again...for reals, I need help.

But perhaps the best item of the day: I met Gary England, local television meteorologist and celebrity. He was so nice and polite....just as you might expect from a local legend (He's been in Twister, people!)

My lover.

I dream about this. Seriously. It's gotten so bad that I have to beg Mitch to eat here with me because he says I "have a problem."

I'll tell you what my problem is...going without Chipotle's sweet, sweet guacamole and cilantro lime rice goodness for more than 2 days.

Luckily, I helped the hubby with his homework the other night (7 hours of geology work, yuck.) and today he is bringing me that burrito full-0-crack for lunch.

Don't worry giant burrito, I'm definitely pumped.

The 30-day Challenge

Due to overwhelming peer pressure from the two people on this planet who read by blog, I've entered a blogging challenge. 30 days, 30 blog posts. This is entirely ridiculous, of course, considering the fact that I'm definitely going to be hindered by the fact that my blogging attention span is like a 4 year olds.

But, I'm the most insanely competitive person on the planet, so I'm in! Expect many epic posts of nothingness, like one of my favorite bloggers, Nat the Fat Rat, writes occassionally. I know you will be so excited to read them...

Oh, did I say you, implying a readership? My mistake! As my horribly depressing stats show, I have no readership. Ruth (one of the other 30-day challengers) insisted I show my this, so I'll claim this as my "before" image.

Visits
Total ............................ 0
Average per Day .................. -
Average Visit Length ............. -
This Week ........................ 0

After 30 days of blogging, who knows how many visitors I might have? Heh, probably about 4, assuming I tell my mother. That counts, right?