I'm STILL not your wife...

Remember our illustrious Congressional representative? The one who keeps emailing me as if I'm his wife, despite my numerous emails that assure him I am not?

Today I learned his son is playing summer league basketball.

And because the message he sent me was a forwarded message that the coach had sent to ALL the parents, it showed the wife's email address....which is exactly like mine, except it has 08 on the end.

So we now know:
1. Although he knows enough about the United States Geological Survey to serve as a Congressional Liason, he can't figure out how to add two digits to his wife's name to make the correct email address.
2. He forwards things to his wife despite the fact that it was already sent to her.
3. His son must be pretty sporty. That must go for all Wests. :)

Give me 30-minutes and 220 chicken wings...

Mitch made chicken wings for dinner tonight. Now, I am not a chicken wing person. Mitch always tells me that I just don't know how to eat meat off the bone, which is definitely true.

But tonight? Tonight, I conquered the chicken wing. 6 wings met their maker tonight. And that maker was me. Boo-yah.

I think our next step is the competitive eating circuit. We're coming after you, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut. All we have to do is eat more than 214 in a 30-minute period. How hard can that be?

Uhh, on second thought...maybe we'll just stay at homemade wings.

Amarillo

We're back from our trip to Amarillo. Great friends, fun times, creepy city.

Amarillo is odd in that there isn't really a good area of town. It's just small areas of nice houses surrounded by slums...lots of slums. In one of these slums was the flea market. We thought we might find some nice deals, so we tried it out.

If I had been looking for a nice deal on bongs, pinatas or any merchandise with the Virgin Mary on it, I would have been in luck.

When we left, we passed a few local attractions, including the nightclub Club Uneek and the strip club The Crystal Pistol. Classy!

During our time driving around Amarillo, I saw some weird street signs saying things like "It's the same brick in the ice pack/it's the same trick with an ice pick." If you're saying WTF, join the club. Apparently, artist Stanley Marsh 3 (Yes, that 3 is part of his name) is behind the signs, which are all over Amarillo. Marsh is the guy who did Cadillac Ranch.

Story goes that he put up a few signs and really irritated a woman in town. So when she complained, he really showed her by paying people to put other weird signs on their property. Now there are about 200 of them around the city. Ummm, k?

Despite Amarillo's weirdness, we had a great time. Amarillo has a free zoo where you can get about 3 feet from the animals. I could nearly touch the lion! And of course we had a great time hanging out and catching up with Mitch's best friend Brody and his wife, who are about to have a baby.

But the best part? Smores. Enough said. :)

I am not your wife!

Today when I popped open my email, I saw a really strange message with the subject line, "FYI Mike Connor confirmed." The email was about Michael Connor being confirmed by the Senate as Commissioner of the U.S. Bureau of Reclamation.

Umm, whaaa? It was then that I realized that the email was not from my father (J. Tim West), but from Timothy J. West, my longtime email buddy who refuses to quit sending me emails intended for his wife, who shares my name.

Over the last 18 months, Timothy has sent me lots of messages, including important ones about how he forgot his cell phone and this email was the only way to communicate to his wife how they would be meeting up later that afternoon. He's also sent me information about his son's soccer schedule (Go NWAL-Arlington!).

So I did what any normal person would do. I sent him a very polite email explaining that I wasn't his wife (which he really should know) and that he probably wanted to fix this error so that his wife could receive these messages.

And I kept getting the emails. So I kept writing back.

And I kept getting emails.

Eventually, I just gave up on him. I figured that he obviously was technologically/intellectually challenged because he never wrote me back to acknowledge his error and he KEEPS WRITING ME.

The scariest thing about this post? I googled the guy and he's the freaking Congressional Liason for the United States Geological Survey.

The man who can't figure out that he isn't emailing his wife is responsible for being the voice of a major governmental organization to Congress.

*Face palm*

P.S.Good news: the motorcycle riding asshole waited until 6:45 this morning to jet out of the neighborhood at warp speed 4 on his ridiculously loud motorcycle. I remained calm, but I really wanted to go grab a huge stick and throw it into the spokes of his front tire. (Does it still count as road rage if you aren't technically driving? Hmm...)

Viva Mexico!

If I seem to drop off the face of the earth, don't worry. It just means that I've been arrested for theft, vandalism or perhaps manslaughter.

Let me explain: I realized why Mitch and I haven't been sleeping. One of our idiot neighbors has a motorcycle....a LOUD one. And to prove he's Billy Badass, he likes to accelerate really quickly and drive in circles through the neighborhood. Awesome.

We discovered this when we were moving in, but I brushed it off because it was Sunday and it was beautiful outside. He was just enjoying the afternoon. Benefit of the freaking doubt, people.

But this morning, when it was 6:25 in the flipping AM, it was NOT ok.

I know where you live, I know what you drive. I can't be held responsible for my actions with no sleep.

But the police probably won't see it that way, so meet me in Mexico!

Well duh.

I was driving home today when I saw a car pull out right in front of a car ahead of me. The car that got cut off had to slam on the brakes and swerve a little to avoid rear-ending the car ahead of it. Having the incredible road rage that I do (and man, do I have road rage!), I drove by and yelled, "Learn how to drive!"

Just as I realized the offending car was from the Cowboy Driving Academy.

*Forehead slap*



P.S. We went bowling tonight, which was a blast. I won the first game with a kickass score of 147. What's up now! Mitch didn't even get CLOSE, which is not surprising, considering he looks like a penguin when he bowls.

Back to the Internetz

Back to the blog after days of moving and getting the internet set up and trying to find the deodorant that somehow got packed with the potato masher. Phew, it feels good to get back in the saddle.

Last night I learned a few things:
1. A bottle of champagne splits evenly into exactly 6 glasses, 3 for each of us.

2. 3 glasses of champagne is about one too many.

3. The Bachelorette is a hilarious show, although I think it's supposed to be romantic and heartfelt. Maybe I just don't have a romantic bone in my body, because we just laughed and laughed at all the potential daters last night. One guy calls himself Bilbro. Seriously. I nicknamed him Bilbro Douchebaggins and then giggled for 20 minutes. See #2.

4. It is possible to dang near get your nose broken in your sleep. Mitch has wild elbows when he's asleep.

5. Einstein has claimed the spare bedroom as his own. He dragged a blanket out of a box, curled it into a little bed and has taken to sleeping in there instead of in his crate or his doggy bed. These teenagers, they just need their freedom, I suppose.

Who knows what I'll learn tonight?

Open House

I'm exhausted. Mitch and I have been packing and moving for a few days now, and I'm constantly amazed by how much stuff we have. Today I found a set of Western-themed ice cream sandwich molds. I packed it right next to the molds for the ice shot glasses.

This is the house we brought home our wedding loot to. So we have a tremendous amount of stuff. We started the packing process days ago, but we've gotten to the "just throw crap in a box" stage. We got there quickly.

The good news of the move is our new duplex. Our new place has a much bigger living space, a dining area, a fireplace, a fenced back yard and closets. Oh glorious closets! (Our current place has only 2 small closets in the entire place. We have loads of storage racks. It looks like a grocery store in here, everything exposed on a shelf.)

Here's the photo tour of the new place, in all it's empty glory.

This is the view when you first walk in. Well, really you'd see a faux wall made of bannister rails. Confused? So are we. The fireplace is nice, but the angle it's set on really makes living room layout complicated. I expect to make Mitch move the couch about 6 times tomorrow. (And it's a sleeper, hehe!) Hi Einstein! That door goes into the backyard. You'll have to use your imagination there, my camera was nearly dead.
Fireplace close-up. I'm actually digging this 70s rock look. You can't see it in the picture, but the gas pipe under the rack is broken off and all jagged looking. Umm, not so safe. I don't see any smores in our near future. Well, plus it is May...so we'll be okay for a while.

This is the brand spanking new linoleum in the entry way. It's crooked and makes me want to punch someone. I tried to add a rug, to camoflauge the crookedness but it just emphasized it. But then I was too lazy to move the rug, so looks like it's living there forever.Kitchen, or what you can see from the dining area. It's a tiny, galley-style kitchen with horribly outdated appliances, but it will do. The space between the open doorway and the door to the garage is where our fancy new washer and dryer will go. (As I write this, Mitch is reading the owner's manual IN GREAT DETAIL. We're both pretty pumped.) And you can't see this in this picture, but the cabinet handles are in the very center of each door, rather than on the bottom edge. And the handles are nearly 5 inches tall. Awesome.
Best bathroom fixture EVER. And an elaborate gold framed mirror? AMAZING.
By the way, in the 10 seconds I was in the bathroom taking the last picture, Einstein was sitting outside the closed door crying. Don't his eyes just look sad? The packing has made him really nervous so he's been pretty clingy.
The exterior. That shrubbery is trying to eat the sidewalk, but Mitch is going to trim it soon. Also note the small Boston Terrier who has a very low window that he can look out. It's like dog TV!
Stay tuned for furnished pictures.

Rescue mission

It's 11 pm and I've been moving all day. I just sat down to bang out a real blog post, but just got a call from the parents who were on their way out of Stillwater. Seems Dad's truck lost all electrical power and they're stuck at the intersection of I-35 and Highway 51. So we're on our way out to rescue them.

This is so not the celebratory 30th consecutive blog post I had imagined.

Packing

I finally got the call today that our new duplex is ready for us to move. While it is exciting to move into a place that has more room and better features (closets? Amazing!), moving requires packing. Packing might be my least favorite activity on the planet. Seriously. I would rather buy new stuff than move my existing stuff. If I had the money, I probably would just take a match to our old place.

But since I can't do that, does anyone want to come over and help pack? I'll give you guacamole and beer, promise!

(Photo tour of the new place soon!)

Luck be a lady

Knock on wood and rub your magic rabbit foot. You're gonna need that luck to match the day I've had.

Mitch and I are moving, so I have been on a search for boxes. I casually mentioned to my friend Misty that I was looking for boxes, and she mentioned that she had TONS of boxes that she was *just* about to break down and recycle. Score!

And I happened to mention my box search to Andy, who works with me at the Library. He gave me another source for some boxes, which turned into another 4 or 5 boxes. I must be living right!

Now if a whole bunch of people magically showed up to my house to pack everything up, that would be the luckiest thing of all. A girl can dream...

Mother's Day

This is my mama, who I love very much. And as today is Mother's Day, I give you my tribute post. My mom is an amazing woman, very full of faith and love. In fact, she and my daddy still love each other after 35 years of marriage.

But they also love to have fun with each other. I'm hoping Mitch and I can have both these traits in our marriage.
People say we look just alike. I don't see it...weird.
My mom and I have lots of fun together as well. Our wedding photographer told us to put our heads together and look serene or something like that....this is what he got.

I love you Mom!

Pomp and Circumstance

My hubby graduated today. Hallelujah! He's been working so hard this semester to finish up on a good note, so I'm extremely proud of him.

His brother graduated too. This is an example of Mitch giggling like a little girl. Someone probably made fun of his brother. That someone was probably Mitch. My family came down too. I promise, we don't usually look this squinty.

They made us take embarrassing pictures too. Exhibit A:
Now if you will excuse me, I've eaten enough Hideaway pizza to kill a man. I need to go put on elastic pants and curl up into the fetal position.

Say a prayer...

The whole family of in-laws are in town, and I do mean the whole family. Both sets of grandparents, including Mitch's paternal grandpa who is 99% blind and wears jumpsuits and is just the sweetest.

They're all staying at a hotel, thank God, so I think things will move more smoothly this weekend than in weekends past when we've tried to navigate 7 people in 2 houses with bed space for 3 people.

But today's bestest news is that Mitch is done done done with school. Forever. No more! Now all we have to do is move, buy new furniture and find the hubby the job of his dreams. Sigh, better say another prayer for us!

Gray weather is only nice in the Pacific Northwest

This crappy weather lately has been making me think of our honeymoon, where the weather was cloudy and rainy but totally par for the course. Our Alaskan cruise was amazing, even when you consider the fact that the boat was completely taken over by the 2008 Patel Family Reunion. (Think 800 Patels...wowza.)

One of the stops on our cruise was Victoria, British Columbia. It may be the most beautiful city on the planet. They obsess over gardening there, so we saw some of the prettiest flowers.

We toured the Butchart Gardens, a huge series of gardens that a woman started around the turn of the 20th century. Her husband ran a cement plant, and the quarrying of limestone near their house outside of Victoria left a massive hole. So, Jennie decided to make the pit into a world-class garden, which would make it pretty and give her friends a reason to come out and visit her in her country setting.

This is the Sunken Gardens, which was created out of the limestone pit. It sinks like 300 feet from where you first walk into the area.
Jennie was inspired and kept working on her gardens, adding a Rose garden and Japanese garden and English garden and all kinds of things (The website has professional photos. Be impressed!) She even hired a famous Japanese landscape architect to come create the Japanese garden, and this was in the 1910s.

Shortly after this picture, a 65-year-old woman got pissy with me because I stopped to take a picture. I may have been on my honeymoon, but I was not afraid to get physical.
At one point, there was this cool little cut-through where you could see the ocean.
At the end of the garden tour, we saw a fireworks show. And although I feel a little unpatriotic saying this because I love America and all, this Canadian fireworks show was the best I've ever seen! It was set to music and all kinds of amazing.

I am not so amazing, and thus took only one picture. Back off, people!

Sass Monster

I've been a total crankster this evening, which is just so unfortunate for Mitch. And what's worse, I have my second overnight shift at the Library tonight...in about three hours. That means very little sleep before I go. Hopefully I won't OD on caffeine like I did last night.

This whole blogging every day thing has been easy for me, until today. Maybe it was my sassy attitude today, who knows? I'm just glad to have remembered for today...another day, another blog. Sigh.

Cinco de Mayooooo

Cinco de Mayo is an amazing holiday. Really. Most people think it's the Mexican Independence Day, but that happened in September 1810 with the Grito de Dolores, a sort of Mexican Independence war cry. Cinco de Mayo is really a celebration of the Mexican army's victory against invading French forces in 1862.

Yes, Mexicans celebrate this day because its the only time they successfully repelled a foreign invader. Out of respect and reverence for that success, Americans drink copious amounts of tequila and wear culturally insensitive costumes. Hooray!

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, a group of us went to Palomino's, the newest Mexican food restaurant in Stillwater. They have a spinach-artichoke queso that is served with pita chips. It's to die for....honestly. At the very least, someone sold their soul to the devil for a product this good. (Mitch definitely read over my shoulder and told me 'Oh my Gosh, the spinach-artichoke queso is not even that good.' Clearly he's a robot or he's been paid off by one of the other 36 Mexican restaurants in town....or both.)

Today is also National Teachers' Day, which I think is quite fitting. After all, who needs a shot of tequila more than all those underappreciated and underpaid teachers?

Night at the Library

Man, weird things happen at the Library overnight. I can say this with confidence now that I worked my 2-7:30 a.m. shift last night. I was so pumped to start because, like I said, I'm taking over the Library.

But when I got there, it was like I was in an alternate universe. It's the same building where I spend my days, but weird people were there and it was all dark outside...freaky deaky.

During my first hour, I walked the floors. I spotted a table that had 2 iPods, 3 cell phones, a wallet, 2 laptops and 3 backpacks full of books....completely unattended. People this stupid deserve to have their valuables stolen. I walked by 15 minutes later and it was STILL unattended. I should have taken an iPod and the wallet on principle.

I also noticed a guy around 2:15 that was playing a first-person shooter on one of the computers. I didn't think much of it at the time, but it got a little weird at 7 a.m. when I realized he'd been playing it for 5 freaking hours. It totally didn't help that he looked really creepy.

I kept walking the floors until I came to five study desks arranged in a fort. That alone was weird, but then I noticed a girl sleeping on the floor inside the fort. Umm, I would rather stay up for 36 hours than sleep on the carpet in the Library. Ewww.

Speaking of, I've been up for about 29 hours at this point, and I'm exhausted. The incredible amounts of caffeine I've ingested were definitely not good for my stomach. The good news is that we bought the washer and dryer of my dreams today. In two weeks, I'll be doing laundry the way God intended, 23 towels at a time.

Post of Randomness

Winner Winner, Taco Bell dinner!
When we went to Taco Bell for supper tonight, I definitely won an order of cinnamon twists by successfully catching a nickel on the revolving thingie. Yeah, I'm totally awesome.

Fortune cookie FTW
Mitch had Chinese food for supper, which is just gross. But since I went with him to grab it, he bought me a fortune cookie. Score! The fortune was totally awesome for this point in our lives: "The hard times will begin to fade. Joy will take their place." I think the Chinese food cosmos is trying to tell us that school is over and life is about to get so much less stressful. Yay!

8 pm tomorrow's going to suck.
Tonight is my first overnight shift at the Library, which is kindof cool but kindof awful. I'm excited for the extra money, but not excited for this time tomorrow, at which point I will be exhausted and feel like dying. I'm expecting to drink about 4-5 mochas and at least 3 Red Bulls in the next 24 hours. Is that healthy?

T minus one week

In one week, Mitch will be graduating from college. I've waited a really, really long time for this, and I couldn't be more excited. He's got his second interview on Tuesday for an eye technician job at an optometrist's office, so that's even more exciting.

What is not all that exciting? Mitch's whole family is coming into town, and we still don't know where they're staying or what we're doing after the commencement ceremony. Ahh, stress!

May Day Memories

Once upon a time, I was six. (Sometimes I outdo myself in my writing. I mean, that line? Pure poetry.)

And when I was six, a boy from my neighborhood liked me and wanted to give me flowers. He carefully arranged with my mother to have her let him into our house when I was distracted so he could hang a construction paper bouquet of flowers on my bedroom door knob. I imagine my mother was overcome by how precious this whole thing was. I, on the other hand, discovered the flowers and was immediately both embarrassed and curious.

Mom wouldn't tell me who gave me the flowers, so I had to become a detective. I asked lots of questions and hunted for clues before I finally figured out that it was a boy from the next street over. Case closed. I had no interest in the boy, but the detective work sure was exciting.

Nearly 20 years later on this May Day, I wish I just had some flowers. Husband, you can keep the mystery, just leave the daisies.

How am I supposed to stalk people now?

Facebook, in its constant updating frenzy, has changed the Friends page to make it easier for people to categorize their friends and keep lists.

But, it has removed the feature that allowed me to click on the friends tab and see what people were changing on their profiles. Damn it, I want to know when someone changes their job history. What if he or she got a really great new job and now I'll never know?

And let's not even discuss the impact this will have on the efficacy of my facebook stalking.

What is the world coming to when a person can't keep tabs on all the casual acquaintances in her life? Great, now I need a new hobby...