Cough Cough

I broke down and went to the doctor nurse practitioner. To be fair, I thought I was going to a doctor, but no one at the Warren Clinic told me the woman wasn't until after I'd already seen her.

She told me that my hacking, debilitating cough that kept me up at night and made me throw up repeatedly was "just an after-effect of my cold and would most likely go away on its own within the next 6 months."

Excuse me, did you just tell me that my cough could stay until summer? Like, I could be wearing shorts the next time I go a full day without coughing? Dear Lord.

So she gave me an inhaler to try to help with the coughing....an inhaler with the #1 side effect of coughing. Sigh.

After two days of coughing so hard I threw up and not being able to sleep until 5 am, I called back to the fake doctornurse practitioner, who gave me a Z-Pack. When I asked why she was giving me antibiotics now when she thought they would be of no use to me two days ago, she said...basically nothing. When I asked what she thought it was, she said that she didn't know. How am I supposed to have any confidence in her if she basically tells me that she has no idea what's going on?

I guess I'll just have to wait it out. Stay tuned for the "I'm Done Coughing" post. It should hit sometime between now and mid-June.

Just when you think it's safe to come out of the water...

I've now been sick for more than 2 weeks. It's official. This blows.

I thought that I was done being sick last week. My fever was gone and I had some pep in my step. But then, I started to cough. How weird, I thought. I feel great. I have no congestion. Why am I coughing? I went on with my life, convinced that the cough would leave as suddenly and mysteriously as it had arrived.

Except the cough didn't want to leave. It's made itself comfortable. So comfortable, in fact, that Mitch is now forcing me to go see the doctor. Something about "if you cough hard enough that you throw up, you need to go to the doctor." Psh, what kind of rules are these? Ridiculous.

Either way, I'm giving in to the nagging peer pressure and visiting the doctor tomorrow. As for right now, I think another super size dose of Robitussin is calling my name.

Sick Day

During my sick day, I have gotten to do many exciting things. Here's a taste of my day:
7:30am: Wake up, realize I can't breathe. Spaz out for a minute until Husband tells me to blow my nose and quit freaking out. Blow nose. Repeat about 20 times. Spaz out for a minute because I can't swallow. Eventually get some cold water swallowed. Relax slightly. Call into work before realizing that Boss Lady likely has about 75 voicemails and she won't hear it until next August. Email instead, collapse back into bed.

11am: Wake up to phone ringing. Listen to Husband's surprise that I'm still asleep. Ask him if he's mental. What did he think I was going to do? Get up for a quick half marathon? Drag myself out of bed, beginning the migration to the couch area. Eat small lunch that Husband has brought home for me, forgiving him for earlier silliness.

12pm: Start surfing the internet, looking for something interesting. Immediately begin to be irritated by the amount of coverage on Tiger Woods. Instead turn on TV and watch DVRed movie. Chose Nights of Rodanthe, thinking this would be a good one to watch without the Husband.

3pm: Get really, really pissed off because that movie sucks. Although, to be fair, that movie probably only sucks because Nicholas Sparks sucks. Yes, I said it.

3:15pm: Buy a set of Sephora makeup brushes for sister-in-law, hoping that she will realize their worth and not just toss them aside like she has with every other present I've picked for her thus far. At least this time, if she trades me like she did 2 years ago, I can use them!

3:30pm: Decide to take another nap. 12 hours of sleep is not enough when you're sick.

Pretty glad you got to see that window into my day, aren't you?

I'm starting to sound like Bea Arthur...

The promised sinus infection is here. My voice has dropped at least 2 octaves and my nose is stuffed like, well....a tortellini. I couldn't think of anything, cut me some slack! Rats, I was really trying to avoid that whole staying sick thing since I have to work 2-7 a.m. next week a couple times.

Speaking of...I'm actually really excited about working the overnight shift at the Library. I always wondered what went on overnight at the Library during finals week, and now I'll be working security for that time. Expect frequent twitter updates.

As of now, however, I'm so drowsy. I needed allergy meds so I got some of the good stuff. You know, the stuff they keep behind the pharmacy counter because you can use it to make meth. Wait, is this just an Oklahoma thing or do all stores across the nation control ephedrine? Curious...

But my real question is: these cold meds are making me ridiculously drowsy. Like head falling into desk drowsy. BUT, people make meth out of this stuff, and they say meth is an incredible upper. So I say, what gives?

UPDATE: Oh my God, Bea Arthur died last night. Please note, my title does not mean I sound dead....ok, this is sounding less right by the minute. Umm, thanks Bea Arthur, you were awesome. Loved you in Golden Girls.

41 minutes to spare

Almost didn't get a blog in for today...that would really have made me angry. And you don't want to see me angry. [Insert green eyes and bulging green muscles]

It's not that I didn't want to blog today, I did. Honest!

It's just....I didn't DO anything.

7:30 am: Woke up after a wickedly weird dream in which a half baboon/half man (babman? manoon?) attacked me. Thanks low-grade fever, that was a strange one.

11:30 am: Woke up again, feeling very disoriented and like my throat was full of broken glass.

12:30 pm: Turkey sandwich. Oreos. High point of day.

3:30 pm: Spent 2 hours learning where Biblical landmarks are on current maps. Go History Channel!

7:30 pm: Dragged my butt out of the house to take a short walk with the husband and the dog. Einstein peed so much that eventually he resorted to pooping (despite having pooped twice in the 10 minutes BEFORE the walk) to mark his territory. Man, that dog stores poop to be used strategically. What a weirdy.

11:18: Blogging. I'm sure you're all just giddy to hear about my special day!

Damn.

At the doctor's office today, I got some good news and some bad news.

Bad news:
1. The reason I get chronic sinus infections could be a direct result of having my nose broken. Thus, I might have to have the nose job I've been putting off for years. I mean, I hear those are really, really painful.

2. This sore throat I have is just going to get worse, as it is the result of a viral infection and must be allowed to run its course. Eventually, ulcers/sores will develop on the back of my throat. Basically, the doctor said it would be like having the back of my throat covered in canker sores. The pain I'm feeling now is just from the pre-sores....oh crap.

3. I'm definitely infectious. Sorry Bonnie! Of course, I had to get it somewhere....This virus (known as hand, foot and mouth disease) has an incubation period of 3-6 days, so I'm looking at you, Typhoid Maggie!

4. Because of my anatomically defected nose (Doc's words, not mine!) and my tendency toward sinus infections, the doctor said it is very likely I will develop a sinus infection on top of this viral infection. Hooray!

Good news:
1. Umm, there's no more bad news?