Naked Wife

Happy birthday!

2011-04-03T15:32:00.001-05:00

Happy 29th birthday, honey! I can't believe you're so old.

Love,

Your always younger wife

(LOVE the birthday sombrero at El Vaq!)

A right proper post

2011-03-30T23:49:00.004-05:00

Have you ever had that feeling of your stomach dropping? The one where you've suddenly realized that you didn't do some vitally important task? When you think you have screwed something up so badly that it can't be fixed and you are likely to get fired/flunked/arrested?

I hate that feeling.

I had an opportunity to become familiar with that feeling today when I received a text from a classmate asking me if the literature review for a huge research paper was really due tomorrow. Cue the ultimate Oh Shit moment.

As I was preparing for an all-nighter, not the greatest idea following a two-day bout with the stomach flu, my generous professor emailed an extension to our woefully unprepared class. I'm not sure I have ever been more relieved.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some research to attend to...

Pretend it's Tuesday

2011-03-30T08:55:00.001-05:00

Stomach flu & fighting OSU for use of a photo of a public building on public property that I took myself.

You call it a nightmare? I call it Tuesday.

Obsessed

2011-03-28T22:20:00.006-05:00

I've got a new addiction, and it's name is Words with Friends.

Via

I've heard about my iPhone-loving friends' obsession with this game forever, but dismissed it as a fad that I, as an Android user, would never participate in....until I discovered it in the Market and thought innocently, "What's the harm?"

Big mistake. It's just like Scrabble, except people will actually play with me and it doesn't get boring after a few moves. It's fantastic! It somehow manages to make me feel simultaneously really intelligent and completely lacking a vocabulary.

For all my iPhone/Android friends...join me in the dark side. I'll be waiting. Username: Vtrammell.

Game on.

A day of rest

2011-03-27T22:51:00.001-05:00

Launching a business while working full-time and taking 6 hours of grad classes is tiring, like stupidly so.

So today was a perfect day of lounging on the couch, napping and pretending like my house doesn't look like this:

Keeping it real!

Failure

2011-03-26T23:05:00.002-05:00

I may have eaten meat today, but I refuse to fail the 30-day blogging challenge too.

It turns out, vegetarian living is difficult, especially on your body. And mine couldn't take the stress. So, today began with a platter of chicken enchiladas and a sense of disappointment in my resolve.

There's always next year.

The Awwww factor

2011-03-25T11:04:00.003-05:00

Allow me to present your daily dose of cute: click here.
(It's about 30 seconds long, so no excuses.)

Oh Mylanta, I want one SO BAD. I'm completely ignoring the fact that they can grow to 1,500 pounds and kill you with one swipe.

Ok, this settles it. I want an exotic baby animal zoo. Who is with me?

Yes please!

2011-03-24T16:00:00.003-05:00

This summer is full of Marvel movies, including Thor, X-Men First Class and Captain America, which features a hot, shirtless Chris Evans fighting Nazis. Umm, yes please?

Who is in for a movie night?

1 Day

2011-03-23T23:29:00.004-05:00

The best part of today? It's over.

The worst part? It's a tie between the hour I spent reading the code from a registration webpage character by character and the moment when I airballed a shot in the final minutes as my basketball team lost, just 1 game away from the championship to be played in Gallagher-Iba.

Regardless of how the day went, I have the assurance that tomorrow offers the opportunity for a fresh start. Life is a gift, and I refuse to complain my way through it. Instead, I will celebrate the happy moments, even on days like this where they seem few and far between.

So allow me to revise my previous statement. The best part of today? I spent it with people I love and care about. What better day can there be?

Lacto-ovo-vegetarian

2011-03-22T15:24:00.006-05:00

My name is Valerie, and it has been 13 days since I ate meat.

These look delicious...until you've gone 3 days without beef
and you're considering sneaking out of bed at 3 a.m. to hit up
McDonald's dollar menu. The shame!

Recently, I made the decision to go vegetarian for 40 days as a Lenten sacrifice. In answer to your question, I'm not Catholic and I didn't HAVE to do it. Lent offers a unique opportunity to make a sacrifice, to challenge yourself for 40 days to make a change that gives you a small glimpse into the ultimate sacrifice made by Christ.

Although it is a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of the world, giving up meat is a giant commitment in my life. Although I'm not a devoted carnivore, I still like meat. Chicken is practically a staple in my diet...in fact, just typing chicken made my stomach growl and my thoughts turn almost violently to Chick-Fil-A.

But that's the point. Forgoing meat has given me an opportunity to think about my relationship with God on a daily basis, an opportunity I value so much. Everytime I choose veggies over meat, I feel a connection to my faith.

Who knew giving something up could result in gaining something even greater?

(Image via)

My triumphant return!

2011-03-21T10:02:00.006-05:00

Loyal readers, I have returned! My ~~Chinese spammers~~ many fans will rejoice. Bonnie pulled me back into the world of blogging with another 30-day blogging challenge. I love challenges (see tomorrow's post), so I volunteered immediately.

But the timing couldn't have been more perfect. Today marks the beginning of another adventure, the launch of my family's business, Pupalup. We're bringing the daily deal model, popularized by Groupon and Living Social, to Stillwater. Cowboys need good deals too!

Today's deal features $30 worth of bar-b-q from Bad Brad's for only $15. Upcoming deals will feature massages, car maintenance, golf lessons and more. And the best part of the whole thing? I feel like Stillwater's Pied Piper of Savings....in fact, I might need to update my business card.

If you're admiring the logo design, thank Ruth. Better yet, hire her yourself! She rocks.

Highs and Lows

2010-05-19T11:30:00.009-05:00

This week has been a battle for me. At times I feel like I'm on my game and everything is going exactly right. At others, I feel like life has dropkicked me in the face. It would be annoying if it weren't so quintessentially LIFE, you know? I mean, life is a combination of inspiration and desperation, blessings and challenges. I think the real success in life is choosing to focus on the happiness in each day.

So this week, I'm choosing to focus on my new entryway table, my bread-making success and my husband's new health insurance. I'm going to ignore this terrible weather, the fact that I enjoyed so much of that homemade bread last night that I made myself sick, and the sad state of the economy. Counting your blessings isn't always easy, but it is definitely effective.

P.S. The bread I'm making is from this cookbook, and it couldn't be more easy or delicious. If I could practice some self-control (around bread? HA!), I would make this every day. I also would include pictures of the bread. I've tried with each of the 4 loaves I've made, but somehow, we keep eating it before I have a chance. Imagine that. Instead, check this photo out and pretend it's the loaf I made.

Image Source

One Day

2010-05-10T17:25:00.004-05:00

I'm not usually a fan of reggae music, but since hearing this song on the radio, I immediately downloaded it and have since listened to it about a bajillion times.

I've listened to it 5 times already today, which is having the curious effect of making me want to release white doves into the sky in a symbolic peace gesture. Maybe we should set up big speakers on the Iranian border and blast this in.

Don't act surprised when I win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Eat Dessert First

2010-05-04T05:53:00.006-05:00

Image Source

While talking to a friend today, he said that his girlfriend (my very good friend) had tried an eclair for the first time yesterday. I couldn't believe that anyone hadn't tried that delicious dessert. But then I realized, the world is full of desserts that I haven't tried. What a travesty!

So I made a resolution, an addition to my bucket list, if you will. My newest life goal is to try every dessert in the world. As a counterpoint to this goal, I also made the resolution to work out, because holy cow, desserts are fattening.

Macaroons (both the cute French ones & the ugly coconut ones), Baked Alaska and Bananas Foster all top my list. Have any suggestions or wacky desserts I should try? Pass them along! I would love to hear from you!

And as if I weren't committed enough to embracing dessert, the old adage about life being too short really hit home for me today. My good friend who had only just discovered the eclair was hit by a truck today while riding her bicycle. While she is mostly ok, with just minor injuries, it could have been much worse. So I say to you, life is too short! Eat your desserts first (and often!)

Gross coconut macaroons. They can't hold a candle to those French beauties at the top.

Image Source

Life is good

2010-04-28T15:42:00.006-05:00

Why life is great right now, in list form:
1. I got into grad school. Well, the OSU Mass Communications graduate program recommended me for admission, which is practically the same thing. Now I just have to wait for the Graduate College to formalize my admission. Back to school!

2. I reached my goal weight. As of this morning, I've lost 25 pounds using Weight Watchers. On Jan. 10, I was a size 12, weighed 163 pounds and had a BMI of 28.8. Today, I'm a size 6, weigh 138 pounds and have a healthy BMI of 24.6. But, I've decided to continue my weight loss by setting a new goal of 130 pounds. It's smaller than I've ever been as an adult, so I can't wait to see what I'll look like. It's an odd thing to see a body in the mirror that you don't recognize. But I like it!

3. I finally found a "Welcome" sign for our house. I've been looking forever for a sign to put near our front door to welcome visitors, one that didn't look like it belonged in a first-grade classroom. I'm in love with it, and I can't wait to get it in the mail.
It's adorable, no? It's cast iron that has been repainted and then reworn down. Apparently it takes a lot of work for something to look cute old. Gross old is much easier.

4. I'm getting a bike! I can't wait to ride around our neighborhood and the park behind the house on a sweet cruiser. I'm thinking something like this: Take that list, add in some beautiful spring weather and you've got one happy Valerie.

Day 1

2010-04-09T07:29:00.004-05:00

When I woke up Thursday morning, I practically jumped out of bed. It's the vacation energy. It made me feel like I could pull a bus off a pinned child or something. After Mitch and I had our requisite fight about when to pack (morning of is my vote. Then you can see everything all laid out and pack it at once. Duh.), we loaded up the car and headed down to Dallas.

Being the expert planners we are, we left in plenty of time to get into Dallas around 3pm to avoid the traffic which makes Stillwater's gameday traffic look like a complete nonissue. Everything was going great. Vacation day 1, perfect.

Until I was driving 80 in the fast lane of Southbound I-35 when my engine temperature light started flashing and beeping and basically alerting me to "Pull over now or you'll all die...DIE!" I pulled over and noticed that my engine was running nearly 300 degrees. Say what? Mitch and I managed to let the car cool down and drive on an access road for about 5 miles before we realized that we needed some serious help. Luckily, we were in Sanger, TX. Yeah, I'd never heard of it either.

Thank God for modern technology. I used my blackberry to look up mechanics in Sanger. After a couple guys that said they couldn't possibly see me before tomorrow, I called Marvin. Marvin is a Godsend. Although he told me he "didn't work on Volkswagens if he could avoid it" and that he "had his hands pretty full," Marvin immediately looked at the car and changed the engine's thermostat. It doesn't even bother me that it didn't work! He was so nice! We had to leave my car there for ole Marvin to change the water pump and belts, so Kelli had to drive up from Carrollton to grab us. All our planning went out the window when we hit Denton around 5:10pm. Oh fudge....except I didn't say fudge. (Name that movie! Wait, who are we kidding, no one is still reading this ridiculously long post!)

When we were blessedly about 10 minutes from Kelli's house, I got another phone call from my mom. "I think Scooter is pregnant. She's lactating." A few things went through my head, like "WHAAAAAT, I had an ultrasound done on her and they said she wasn't pregnant, I'm in Dallas and I have NO way to get back because my car is in freaking Sanger, and of course WHAAAAAT?" Luckily, my dad took Scooter to the vet and it turns out it's just a false pregnancy. (Side note, did you even know those existed? I sure as heck didn't.)

Day 1 was very exciting. And Day 2 began with a wrong number phone call at 6:30am, so I'm excited to see what New Orleans has to throw at us. I just keep reminding myself, this is eventually going to be a funny story I tell my kids....right?

NOLA

2010-04-07T19:03:00.009-05:00

The hubs and I are off to New Orleans for a few days of rest and relaxation.

We're staying here:
And I'm going to see this:

Image Source
And this: Image Source

And I will eat this: Image Source
And this:
Image Source

And I will toast Mitch's 28th birthday with one of these:
Image Source

Happy 28th birthday, Mitch! I'm so glad you were born, and that you gave us an excuse for a much-needed vacation!

Must love dogs

2010-03-18T11:08:00.006-05:00

The 1:10 mark? LOVE it.

Wrong number...yes, I'm sure

2010-03-11T11:56:00.004-06:00

Have you ever wanted to punch someone you didn't even know? Or that you hadn't ever even seen?

I experienced this weird phenomenon a few weeks ago when I got the wrong number phone call from hell.

When you call a wrong number, there's a protocol to be observed. Apologize, then hang up. If you want to be thorough, you can try to announce the number you were calling. While being mildly annoying, this could keep you from calling the wrong number again, so it's ultimately acceptable. This isn't hard...which makes me wonder how the woman who called me managed to screw it up with such ease.

For your reading pleasure, I give you...the wrong number from hell (or why I wish you could punch through a telephone)

Me: Hello?
Her: Yes, I'm calling for Danny.
Me: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
In a perfect world, I would have hung up here. Sigh.

Her: No, this is the right number. He must be there.
Me: Nope, this is my cell phone. I assure you, there is no Danny here.
Short of taking a lie detector and mailing her a sworn affidavit, I'm not sure how I can be more clear.

Her: He must have called from your phone.
Yes, I regularly loan my cell phone out to random crazies in the Library. Mainly so I can talk to awesome people like you!

Me: M'am, I'm at work. I've had my phone on my desk for the last 6 hours. No one called you from this phone.
Her: Well this is the number that showed up on my phone. I just hit redial. You called me. Where's Danny? Why are you covering for him?
What. The. F.

At this point, I chose to cut the woman off and just hang up. She's probably still stewing over my attempts to keep her from her rightful return phone call to Danny.

It's days like this that make me think I'm crazy bait.

Photo source

The time I almost died...

2010-02-22T14:04:00.011-06:00

I've been working on my ceremonial 100th post for a few days now, but I thought I would share a story that came up while I was writing it.

Once upon a time, when I was about 11 years old, I hiked into the Grand Canyon and camped there for 3 days, despite the fact that I'm SO not a hiker...or a camper...or anything outdoorsy.

My uncle from Arizona wanted to take my older brother and I to do something he loved. He wanted to share his state and his interests with us. I adore my Uncle Tim, so we went willingly. Well, as willingly as an 11 year old can go.

When we got ready to start hiking, I was ready. Ready in the sense that I was wearing overalls (hello 1995!) and hiking boots...not so much in terms of hiking experience or any sort of training (hello 11-year-old Valerie attitude!). When I got my pack on, I discovered that it extended about 8-inches above my head. My uncle reminded me about 12 times that I should be careful about low branches. I'm sure I gave him a big eye roll. Let's remember that advice for later in the story.

My uncle also told us some tips about walking on the ice. Despite the fact that we were in Arizona, the switchbacks on the trail were still covered in ice, due to the fact that the sunlight rarely reached them. He encouraged caution on the ice, and explained that one should dig his/her heels in if he or she slipped. Insert adolescent Valerie eye roll #2.

2 hours later, I was hiking down the trail, grumbling about how my feet hurt and my pack was heavy. Suddenly, one of those sneaky low branches caught the top of my pack. I was jerked backward onto my back and started sliding down the trail on the ice. I managed to remember my uncle's advice, and I started digging my heels in, confident that I would stop.

Except I didn't. The edge of the switchback was quickly approaching, the edge that had a 200-foot drop-off to nothingness. I have never been so scared in my life. Damn those eye rolls and adolescent angst! I was going to die a little punk who ignored what now proved to be really, really smart advice.

Needless to say, I didn't die. I didn't even careen off the edge of the trail. I managed to finally get my heel dug into the ice a few feet before the switchback, got back on my feet and became a whole lot more careful from that point on.

One would imagine I was a much better listener after this incident.

You should ask my mom how that one turned out. :)

What a week!

2010-02-10T10:28:00.005-06:00

I know it's only Wednesday, but phew! What a week this has been already, am I right?

Monday, I watched The Bachelor and had a philosophical discussion about choosing love or work with some friends. I mean, how often do you get to discuss real life issues and drama while watching the scripted cheesiness of The Bachelor unfold? For the record, I think Ali made the correct decision to choose to keep her dream job in the struggling economy rather than risk it all on a man she's known for 4 weeks. Who's with me?

Yesterday, I went to the gym to play basketball. In my first game, I made exactly ZERO of my 6 shots. My 4 teammates were looking at me like I was carrying some kind of contagious disease. In my last game, I made 5 of my 6 shots from behind the 3-point line. How's that for redemption? Well, since none of the original teammates were still there...I guess it's just for my benefit, but whatever. Take that, mean boys who didn't want to pass me the ball because I was "completely unsuccessful at scoring."

And today's excitement...I'm wearing new pants. Not just any new pants, but the new size-8 pants I bought myself as "goal pants." See a month ago, Ann Taylor was having a ginormous sale and dress pants that normally sell for $110 were on sale for ridiculous amounts like $19. So I bought 2 pair. And in an extraordinarily, uncharacteristically bold and ambitious plan, I bought them in a size-8. 8, the size I wore before gaining 20 pounds of happy married weight. I told Mitch that they were my goal pants, and I wouldn't rest until they fit! (I also told him this to distract him from the fact that I spent $60 on pants that I couldn't fit into. It definitely worked.)

And today, today I am wearing the pants. Bring it on, Wednesday, because you can't take me down today.

Quick note about the ridiculousness that is me: I can't ever remember to zip my zipper at work. Am I the only one this happens to? All my dress pants have a double clasp at the waist, and for some reason, my brain can only remember to accomplish two things. This is not a problem when I'm wearing jeans (button, zipper, check!) but with dress pants...no chance. (Inside button, Outside clasp, check!....insert 3 hours of walking around the office with my zipper down....zipper, public shame, check!)

On a roll...

2010-02-09T20:25:00.001-06:00

I've always read about bloggers and their relationships, about how their blogs could help them become friends with people they have never met. I never understood it. Perhaps it's my lackluster updating, my fear of commenting or the fact that no one seems to read my blog (which brings us back to the lackluster updating!).

But lately, I've felt compelled to comment. To tell the women who I love to read that they're amazing and fantastic and to keep up the good work! Women like Natalie, Erica and Stacey.

So if you're like me, paralyzed with fear that you're a terrible blogger and that you just don't get how the system is supposed to work, take heart. I'm starting to think there's really no wrong way to do this. At the very least, you've got a friend in me. :)

To make you feel even better, allow me to show you how I can't take a normal picture with my husband. What a dork.

Weight Watchers: Questions Answered

2010-02-09T11:53:00.006-06:00

I've gotten a lot of questions lately about Weight Watchers and its methods from some friends, so I thought I would explain for ~~my many followers~~ ~~my loyal readers~~ my mom, who actually reads my blog.

Why did you decide to start Weight Watchers
Over New Year's, Mitch and I went to Dallas to visit some friends and attend the Cotton Bowl. We had an absolute blast, going out to eat and shopping and hanging out. But I had a few revelations on that trip. 1. I went shopping for dress pants and realized that although I kept grabbing my normal size of pants, none of them were fitting. Oh crap. 2. I realized that my favorite jeans had a whole in the inner thigh area where my legs had rubbed the fabric down. Oh snap.

I realized at that moment that I had had enough. I would no longer accept the slow accumulation of weight that had been sneaking up on me since our wedding (hello, 20 lbs!) The next week, I signed up for Weight Watchers online.

So, what can you actually eat?
Well, really I can eat whatever I want. I could eat a stick of butter if I wanted. The reality of the WW system is that you learn to equate a point value to each serving of a food. The points are calculated from calories, fat and fiber. So, when you look at that macaroni and cheese, you realize that 1 cup of it is worth 8 points. When you look at a cup of grapes, you see 1 point. WW is all about choosing what you would rather spend your daily allotment of points on. (That stick of butter, by the way? 24 points.)

How many points do you get in a day?
I get 22 right now. There are a lot of variables to calculate your points, including activity level, age and gender. We should not even talk about how unfair it is that men get 6 points per day more than women just because they're guys.

Is it hard? Is it working?
For me, it's not hard. I know that losing weight is important to me, so I take it seriously. Mitch is also losing weight, so we've just made a lifestyle switch. The great thing is that we eat at home nearly every single meal now. It's just so much easier than trying to guess what they cooked your food in.

And is it working? Heck yes. In 5 weeks, I've lost 8.6 pounds. My clothes that were tight are fitting well or loosely. I have more energy, more money from not eating out and more pride in myself for a job well done. My ultimate goal is to wear the bikini I bought for our honeymoon this summer on a trip for our 2nd anniversary. (It's still new, since we ended up in Alaska for our honeymoon.) 14 pounds to go.

Thanksgiving 2009. Goodbye, belly! Note, not even a 140-pound Doberman makes my belly look any smaller. And hi Mom!

January 2008, 140 pounds. This is more like it!

My morning, in letters

2010-01-14T10:01:00.003-06:00

Dear dogs,
Thanks for waiting until I had my dress clothes on to run inside and jump on me. Also, thanks for coming back to jump on a second pair of pants after I changed.

Dear Special K,
I love that you're only 2 points for a full cup of cereal. Do you think you could work on being a little more filling so I'm not contemplating gnawing off my arm by 10:30 am?

Dear Nissan truck driver,
Bold move sitting in the right lane at an intersection while I sat behind you with my right turn blinker on. I especially like that, despite the fact that no one was in the left lane, you chose to sit in the turning lane. Also, I would like that 8 (yes, 8!) minutes back.

Dear Valero gas station owner,
Pump #4 is working at 12% speed. Are you in cahoots with Mr. Nissan truck driver to drive me absolutely bonkers?

Dear scale,
Thanks for making this morning bearable. 1.6 lbs. down, 23.4 to go!

By Special Request

2010-01-12T15:17:00.003-06:00

Back to blogging, by special request of my mother, my loyal reader. Luckily, I have some great info to share: namely, I signed up for Weight Watchers today.

Most people have that moment, the one they point to when they tell their story of weight loss. I had my moment in Dallas over New Year's. Well, I suppose it was really a combination of smaller moments. My friend who I was visiting had lost 20 pounds on Weight Watchers, I went pants shopping (kill me now) and I realized that my only pair of jeans that fit had a hole in the left thigh area where my legs had been rubbing together.

Sigh.

Luckily, Weight Watchers is having a free registration period right now, so the cost is only the monthly fee. And from only half a day of using the new online software, it looks really easy to use and exciting. The online food calculator is fantastic.

Now all that's left to do is lose 25 pounds. GULP!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-27T23:06:00.004-06:00

Let's all pretend this blog post actually was posted two days ago and was therefore on time, okay?

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope that you all enjoyed your time with family, were safe in the blizzard and got to eat lots of fudge.

I certainly did my share of fudge eating, let me tell you what.

Now let's all try to eat salad for five days straight so we can fit into our New Year's Eve outfits, k?

The Great Italian Debate

2009-12-21T13:29:00.012-06:00

My husband has long been the source of considerable teasing in our family because of his pronunciation of the word "Italian." See, in the Panhandle of Oklahoma, everyone pronounces it with a long I sound at the beginning, like eye-talian. But for most of the country, we pronounce it with a short eh sound.

This weekend we had a healthy debate whether Mitch's pronunciation is correct, acceptable, colloquial or just downright offensive. To investigate, I consulted both Merriam-Webster, the go-to dictionary for most, and Dictionary.com, the free online version. Results below!

Merriam-Webster
Main Entry: ¹Ital·ian

Pronunciation: \ə-ˈtal-yən, i- also ˌī-\

Function: noun

Date: 14th century

1 a : a native or inhabitant of Italy b : a person of Italian descent
2 : the Romance language of the Italians

Dictionary.com

[i-tal-yuhn]

–adjective

1.	of or pertaining to Italy, its people, or their language.

–noun

2.	a native or inhabitant of Italy, or a person of Italian descent.

3.	a Romance language, the language of Italy, official also in Switzerland. Abbreviation: It, It., Ital.

Pronunciation note:
The pronunciation of Italian with an initial [ahy] Show IPA sound (pronounced like the word eye) and often with level stress on the first and second syllables: [ahy-tal-yuhn] is heard primarily from uneducated speakers. This pronunciation is sometimes facetious or disparaging in purpose and is usually considered offensive.

Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.

So the debate rages on, I suppose. This would be a lot easier if those dictionary folks could get on the same page!

(Same page, haha, I crack myself up.)

Cough Cough

2009-12-17T11:29:00.002-06:00

I broke down and went to the ~~doctor~~ nurse practitioner. To be fair, I thought I was going to a doctor, but no one at the Warren Clinic told me the woman wasn't until after I'd already seen her.

She told me that my hacking, debilitating cough that kept me up at night and made me throw up repeatedly was "just an after-effect of my cold and would most likely go away on its own within the next 6 months."

Excuse me, did you just tell me that my cough could stay until summer? Like, I could be wearing shorts the next time I go a full day without coughing? Dear Lord.

So she gave me an inhaler to try to help with the coughing....an inhaler with the #1 side effect of coughing. Sigh.

After two days of coughing so hard I threw up and not being able to sleep until 5 am, I called back to the ~~fake doctor~~nurse practitioner, who gave me a Z-Pack. When I asked why she was giving me antibiotics now when she thought they would be of no use to me two days ago, she said...basically nothing. When I asked what she thought it was, she said that she didn't know. How am I supposed to have any confidence in her if she basically tells me that she has no idea what's going on?

I guess I'll just have to wait it out. Stay tuned for the "I'm Done Coughing" post. It should hit sometime between now and mid-June.

Just when you think it's safe to come out of the water...

2009-12-14T01:02:00.003-06:00

I've now been sick for more than 2 weeks. It's official. This blows.

I thought that I was done being sick last week. My fever was gone and I had some pep in my step. But then, I started to cough. How weird, I thought. I feel great. I have no congestion. Why am I coughing? I went on with my life, convinced that the cough would leave as suddenly and mysteriously as it had arrived.

Except the cough didn't want to leave. It's made itself comfortable. So comfortable, in fact, that Mitch is now forcing me to go see the doctor. Something about "if you cough hard enough that you throw up, you need to go to the doctor." Psh, what kind of rules are these? Ridiculous.

Either way, I'm giving in to the ~~nagging~~ peer pressure and visiting the doctor tomorrow. As for right now, I think another super size dose of Robitussin is calling my name.

Yawn.

2009-12-11T10:58:00.004-06:00

It is currently 10:58 am and I've been awake for nearly 9 hours. I worked the overnight shift at the Library, which really boosted my self confidence, because no matter how raggedy I was looking, those poor students looked even worse.

Now if you will please excuse me, I have to go pass out and sleep for about a million hours.

Letters

2009-12-10T13:14:00.004-06:00

Dear Hallmark,
I want to buy my keepsake ornament for this year, but could you make it a little less expensive? 20 dollars for one ornament seems pretty dang expensive! Also, this one is pretty hilarious. I would probably pay the $16.50 for it!

Dear hair,
I know you're going back to your roots and growing in blonde, but couldn't you just blend in with the brown for a while? I don't really have 80 bucks to spend to make you fit in with the rest, k?

Dear cough,
You've overstayed your welcome. You're not helping anything here, just go away! As God is my witness, I'll kill you with Robitussin if you don't.

Dear weather,
8 degrees is entirely too frigid. We're not in Minnesota here, cut me some slack!

Dear Cheez-its and Coke Zero,
You were delicious. Thanks for giving your life for my snack today. I'll be seeing you tomorrow.

Your turn: What letter do you want to write today?

Mitch W. Griswold

2009-12-09T13:56:00.004-06:00

When I left the gym last night, I checked my phone to see if anyone had called while I was inside. I was surprised to see 13 missed calls from Mitch.

I called him and he immediately told me, "I fell through the ceiling at the house."

Turns out Mitch was in the attic putting some boxes away when he stepped on an area that had wood laid over the beams. Only they didn't use sturdy wood...so Mitch pulled a Christmas Vacation and crashed through the drywall in our garage ceiling. He caught himself with his arms about halfway down and managed to crawl back up.

Once I established that he was okay, I couldn't help but laugh for about 20 minutes. Tonight, we're definitely going to watch Christmas Vacation. I'm sure I'll laugh especially hard at one certain part.

As for now, I just wonder if Mitch will staple himself to the house later...

Merry Christmas to me!

2009-12-07T10:39:00.005-06:00

This weekend I did a lot of Christmas shopping, mostly for the new house.

Last night, we were at Wal-Mart with the intentions of buying some potatoes and a Dutch oven. We ended up with a 46" LCD TV and a brand new entertainment center to house it.

Those crafty marketing folks at Wal-Mart put the tv on sale on an end cap, and being the savvy shoppers that we are, we snapped that baby up. The house is finally starting to look put together (in the living room, at least), so pictures coming soon!

As for me, I'm going home to collapse into bed. Despite the fact that it's not yet 11am, I've already been at work for more than 8 hours. I worked my overnight shift last night and let's just say that all-nighters aren't quite as easy as they used to be!

Also, I'm totally admitting utter defeat with the 30-day blog challenge. I just haven't been able to get my act together this time. I blame ~~buying the new house~~ ~~holiday schedules~~ ~~the position of the moon~~ myself. *Sigh* Better luck next time.

Road Rage

2009-12-03T23:36:00.003-06:00

Hi, my name is Valerie and I have road rage.

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?

I was driving to Sapulpa to ref 3 basketball games that I couldn't get out of tonight (Mitch wouldn't ref them for me because he's "sick". What a faker.) Most of the drive is on Highway 51, which is one lane in each direction. I got behind a man in a truck who was going about 5 miles under the speed limit. Naturally, as we reached a passing zone, I floated a few feet left to see if I could pass the truck. NORMALLY, this is the point in the story where the man driving the truck should move to the right to make passing easier and safer.

This is NOT the point where the d-bag should speed up/ride the center line to avoid letting you pass him because in some way he relates being passed on the highway with his own failure in life. Or something like that.

I was pissed off enough already, but I moved back behind him, thinking that since he had sped up, it wouldn't matter that I was behind him.

Until he slowed down to 60 again. And we repeated the passing dance again. And he blocked me and then slowed down again.

Sometimes, the only answer is remaining calm and being a responsible adult.

And sometimes, the only answer is flipping someone the bird.

Overboard

2009-12-02T22:04:00.003-06:00

I ventured out of the house today to shop with Mitch for our Angel Tree kid, a 2-year-old boy whose wish list included shoes and a winter coat. I figured anyone whose wish list had such practical items would really need the help.

So we went a little overboard....well, maybe more than a little overboard. We bought him a pair of sneakers, a camo shirt with matching pants, a camo hoodie, a pair of jeans, a rugby shirt, a winter coat and two books.

God help us when we have a child of our own.

P.S. I totally failed on blogging yesterday, too. Boo!

Sick Day

2009-11-30T15:29:00.003-06:00

During my sick day, I have gotten to do many exciting things. Here's a taste of my day:
7:30am: Wake up, realize I can't breathe. Spaz out for a minute until Husband tells me to blow my nose and quit freaking out. Blow nose. Repeat about 20 times. Spaz out for a minute because I can't swallow. Eventually get some cold water swallowed. Relax slightly. Call into work before realizing that Boss Lady likely has about 75 voicemails and she won't hear it until next August. Email instead, collapse back into bed.

11am: Wake up to phone ringing. Listen to Husband's surprise that I'm still asleep. Ask him if he's mental. What did he think I was going to do? Get up for a quick half marathon? Drag myself out of bed, beginning the migration to the couch area. Eat small lunch that Husband has brought home for me, forgiving him for earlier silliness.

12pm: Start surfing the internet, looking for something interesting. Immediately begin to be irritated by the amount of coverage on Tiger Woods. Instead turn on TV and watch DVRed movie. Chose Nights of Rodanthe, thinking this would be a good one to watch without the Husband.

3pm: Get really, really pissed off because that movie sucks. Although, to be fair, that movie probably only sucks because Nicholas Sparks sucks. Yes, I said it.

3:15pm: Buy a set of Sephora makeup brushes for sister-in-law, hoping that she will realize their worth and not just toss them aside like she has with every other present I've picked for her thus far. At least this time, if she trades me like she did 2 years ago, I can use them!

3:30pm: Decide to take another nap. 12 hours of sleep is not enough when you're sick.

Pretty glad you got to see that window into my day, aren't you?

Thanks for nothing, Blogger

2009-11-29T20:35:00.002-06:00

So it would appear my blog post about the Bedlam game that I had scheduled for yesterday didn't post. In fact, it didn't even save. So I totally blew the 30-day blog challenge. I'm just going to pretend like this didn't happen and that I'm still on track. Behold the power of denial!

I should be unpacking some of the 80+ boxes that we moved over to the new house today, but I'm not. Instead, I'm choosing to set up our Christmas tree. I used up every bit of energy I have today finishing up the move, so I'm just going to take it easy. I've been fighting a cold off for nearly a week, and with the amount of work I have ahead of me, I can't afford to be sick!

Black Friday

2009-11-27T05:00:00.000-06:00

Bring it, black Friday. I'm willing to take all the abuse you can give me, well, except for being trampled to death. I'm not down with that.

BUT everything else, throw it at me. Your 52-inch LCD flat screen TV will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it. Gulp.

Thanks

2009-11-26T14:14:00.000-06:00

Today I give thanks for:

my husband, who loves me despite my occassionally quirky and off-the-wall moments. (That's a nice way of saying all those times I'm crazier than a loon.)
my family, who will always support and love me, and who just helped me paint and clean the new house.
my new house! That's new to the list this year. I feel so fortunate to be in a position to buy a house, even if the amount of debt is scary scary.
my dogs. Dogs really do make life infinitely more exciting. It's not always good excitement, but I love them nonetheless.
my job, which although I wish it paid more, I still love. Couldn't ask for a better job.
The freedoms guaranteed to us by the Constitution.
my blog readers. Wait, I already counted this one. Hi Mom!

I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving! Go Cowboys!

Thanksgiving FunFest Begins

2009-11-25T16:22:00.002-06:00

Today is the official start of the West/Trammell Family Thanksgiving Funfest 2009 Fun Run for the Cure (10 points for those who get that reference). We've got a jam packed schedule for the next few days:
Tonight- Eating family dinner, watching the Blind Side in the theater and then watching DVDs at home.
Thursday- Thanksgiving dinner, annual family get-together with our old family friends, the Winzenreads.
Friday- Shopping for the girls, hunting for the guys. Poker that night.
Saturday- Bedlam. I'm debating whether wearing a sombrero is in order.

The only bad news is that it's back to reality on Saturday evening. We'll be finishing the move and getting the old house cleaned up. It's times like those I wish I had a fast forward button.

As for this weekend, I wish I had a pause!

Bedlam, baby!

2009-11-24T16:47:00.000-06:00

I found out today that my lovely father bought tickets to the Bedlam game. You know, the one which carries BCS implications and represents the culmination of the fiercest rivalry in the state?

Despite the fact that OSU is ranked 12th and OU has lost 4 games, the Sooners are still a 10-point favorite. Ten points? Where's the respect?

Now I can only hope OSU plays like they can and beats the Sooners. The Fiesta Bowl sure would be fun!

Somebody drank their Hateorade

2009-11-23T17:39:00.002-06:00

So everyone knows about trolls, internet stalkers who exist to write hate about people. But did you know that there's a person whose blog is nothing but hate?

Meet Chicken Liver, a woman who spends her time reading others' blog posts so she can then write a commentary and post a link for her ~~hate-filled losers~~ followers. It's amazing!

See, I always thought if you didn't like someone's blog or thought it was stupid, that you would JUST STOP READING. Seriously, nobody gives a crap that you think The Pioneer Woman's food isn't healthy enough or that Dooce doesn't love her children enough (seriously? like the Internet allows those judgments?).

And to show you that I don't really care, I'm not going to continue visiting your site and writing about it. I'm just going to never read it again.

See how easy that was?

Mobile blogging, or How I Still Can't Get the Internet to Work

2009-11-22T15:37:00.000-06:00

Here's the lowdown: I haven't showered in 18 hours, I've spent about a bazillion dollars in the last 2 days, and I am so sore from painting that I hobble like a 90-year-old man.

Oh, and the new house is worth all of that. It's amazing.

That being said, I have to get back to work. That minute spent blogging was about all I had to waste.

Painting Day!

2009-11-21T10:21:00.000-06:00

Today is the day we say goodbye to the white walls of rentals. My whole family is coming up to help us paint the new house.

We're going with a warm khaki for the bulk of the house, with a leaf green in our bathroom and a pale blue in the guest bathroom.

I can't wait to post pictures as soon as I can. House fever is upon us!

Homeownership. Yikes!

2009-11-20T12:20:00.003-06:00

We're about to close on the house.

The idea of spending this much money in a single day frightens me.

Short posts for the next couple days until the internet is restored. Wish us luck!

Unlikely friends

2009-11-19T10:36:00.003-06:00

Thanks to my mother-in-law, Jane, for the video above. I love stories about unlikely friends in nature.

Plus I'm just intrigued by the idea of an animal that shares its food, because really, ain't gonna happen with the food-obsessed dogs I've got.

Wednesday Night Football

2009-11-18T17:15:00.003-06:00

Our co-rec flag football team, Allegiance, is playing tonight at 6pm in the semifinals. If we win, we get to play the championship in Boone Pickens Stadium.

Expect to see a lot of the above, my friends. Booyah!

P.S. Now accepting bets! 3-1 that I embarrass myself after talking trash in this post. 5-1 that I actually back it up and score multiple touchdowns. Even money that I manage to hurt myself in some way. I mean, we all remember this, right? Or what about this?

Help Wanted

2009-11-17T15:08:00.004-06:00

With the big home purchase just 3 (holy crap) days away, Mitch and I are really trying to get our butts into gear with the whole packing thing.

The only problem is that I really, really don't want to do it. So I'm putting the call out there: would anyone like to come pack up my meager belongings for me? I can pay you in beer and cookies, although you don't have to eat them together. Unless you're my father, who loves sweets with his beer.

I'm expecting a flood of responses, so make sure to volunteer your time quickly!

In the ~~probable~~ unlikely case that no one volunteers, I will be forced to resort to my old style of packing, namely throwing everything in a box, making it impossible to find anything for months following the move. So search your hearts; I really don't want to do this alone!

A sad day for OSU fans

2009-11-16T11:17:00.004-06:00

Everytime OSU plays a home football game, I'm there. I haven't missed a game all year. I sit very close to the opposite team's sideline, which is great for being really close to the on-field action. Unfortunately, it also gives fans the idea that they're close enough to heckle the players and the officials.

No one is worse about this than "Facemask Guy." This bearded wonder sits behind my family and can't seem to go ONE PLAY without yelling that the officials have missed facemask/holding/late hit/offsides/any penalty that could make up for the fact that we were not hugely successful that play. It's bad enough that he thinks we're getting screwed by the refs every single play, but this week he did something even worse: he brought a friend.

Those two worked in tandem, yelling increasingly inane and idiotic things until they hit the point when their true ignorence was revealed. After a particularly sickening and not illegal hit on our quarterback which left two players injured on the field, the man behind me yelled a racial slur at an opposing player.

I turned immediately, shocking and saddened that someone who loved the same university as I do could have that kind of hate for another person. Although I was shocked into silence, I'm so proud that I married a man who was enraged enough to turn around and tell that man how classless and ignorent he was.

As for his friend Facemask Guy, I'm leaving a highlighted copy of Football for Dummies in his seat next game. Even though there's always a few idiots in our ranks, I'm still proud to be a Cowboy fan!

P.S. Today is the start of another 30-day blog challenge, so come back daily for fresh content!

Stay away during lightning storms...

2009-10-29T12:45:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I think I'm the clumsiest person on the planet. Injury and misfortune seem drawn to me. Those around me have gotten used to it, but whenever I meet new people and explain how badly I can hurt myself, they seem surprised. Let's just take a closer look, shall we?

In the last few days, I have:

electrocuted myself trying to plug in my hair dryer.
punched myself in the face when trying to adjust my purse strap

In the last few months, I have:

gotten a terrible black eye from a collision during a basketball game
gotten another terrible black eye from opening my car door into my face

In the last few years, I have:

contracted pneumonia from a simple sinus infection, despite taking antibiotics at the first sign of symptoms.
contacted hand, foot and mouth disease, which usually only occurs in infants and small children.
broken my nose in a rather unfortunate flag football accident
gotten two black eyes at once from a completely different flag football accident
hit myself in the head at least 400 times because of my ridiculously terrible depth perception.

Despite my efforts to avoid hurting myself, I think I'm doomed to a life spent in pain. The good news is that our new house is fairly close to the hospital. Believe me when I say this was a contributing reason to why we liked it so much.

Now, does anyone have an ice pack and a protective helmet?

Bad Mom

2009-10-27T12:12:00.004-05:00

So lately I've been worried about my mothering skills.

Not pregnant, not where we're going here.

But I am a dog mom, which totally counts. Now, I know you're not supposed to love one child more than the other, but is it super bad to love one doggie more than the other?

Don't get me wrong, I love them both for their individual talents, but Einstein can play dead and roll over and loves to snuggle under the covers with me.

Scooter just eats poop and then her burps smell like farts. Gross.

So I ask, do any of you like one pet more than the other? And you feel wracked with guilt like I do?

My life is bizarre.

2009-10-26T09:18:00.004-05:00

1. I just got a phone call from some random number. When I answered, all the guy would say was, "What's up, buttface?" Then he hung up on me.

2. I got a facebook message from a 60-year-old man I don't know that said nothing but, "What a nice picture." I suppose the only appropriate response is thanks?

3. I got 3 more emails from my fake husband. You remember him, don't you? This time he let me know that our son had a basketball game, that he was taking our son to a haunted house this weekend, and then he sent me his online itinerary for his flight in two weeks. I'm starting to think the only way I can get him to stop emailing me will be to book a seat next to him on that flight and explain in detail that he's not my husband....and that he needs to learn how email addresses work.

I would say that this day couldn't get weirder, but I think that's just asking the universe to send me a singing candygram from a midget clown stripper.

Back from vacation...or something like that.

2009-10-23T10:00:00.008-05:00

So maybe it's been about a month since I posted anything. I'm going to call it a blogging vacation rather than the obvious truth of me being too busy to remember to post anything. Sorry loyal reader (hi Mom!).

What's even worse? We have big things happening in our life, things that are totally blog-worthy.

We bought a house!
We decided to make the leap and invest in a house rather than keep putting money down the drain in rent. Being first-time homebuyers made the whole process even more appealing, what with that 8k incentive.

The house was built in the early 1970s and has a tiny little kitchen, but we love the rest of the house enough to love the kitchen too. For instance, the dining area has the most wonderful brick wall and large picture window. I'm not sure why I love the brick so much, but I do. The piece of furniture you see on the left is a built-in china cabinet with a wet bar. Fantastic.
The house also has brand new laminate floors throughout, which is fantastic. And the dogs will soon have a HUGE backyard in which they can wear themselves out so they don't come inside and tear around the house like coked up weirdos. Also, the backyard backs onto a public park which is fantastic. And the two large trees are pecan trees....I guess that means I could pick my own pecans. We'll see if that happens.
The living room has two fantastic large windows to the backyard and park. For some reason, the previous owner had large curtains up over them. What a crazy! I won't be obscuring my view of nature. Plus, how cute is that door?
So that's our major update. I'm still deciding on paint colors for the house (no white walls! White walls are for rentals!), but I'm thinking a nice khaki in the living/dining/entry area with perhaps a navy blue accent wall. I need ideas, people.

Oh, and we're closing Nov. 20th, so we'll need help moving/painting too.

I can tell you're all on the edge of your seats to help with that one.

People suck.

2009-09-18T15:33:00.007-05:00

One of my favorite blogs I read is Dooce. This makes me one of millions who read and love Heather Armstrong.

Apparently there are also thousands of people out there who hate her with the passion of a thousand suns. I know when you write in a public setting about your personal life that you are opening yourself up to criticism, but man, these people are harsh.
Sometimes I'm glad I never have any comments to read because at least no one is telling me that I'm ruining peoples' lives with my pig vomit. (Believe me, that's TOTALLY tame compared to some of the rest of her hate mail.)

What I love about Dooce, however, is that she got tired of keeping all the loony emails to herself and decided to hit her haters where it hurt: by monetizing the hate. It's perfect.

Click through. I promise it will make you feel good about yourself. No matter how crazy you are, you're not that damn crazy!

Mustaches are gross amazing.

2009-09-15T15:15:00.006-05:00

My hubs is a huge OU football fan, which means I have to ~~stare blankly at the screen~~ watch the games with him every Saturday.

When Bradford got hurt a couple games ago, we both noticed the same thing when backup quarterback Landry Jones came in: his tremendous mustache.

Image by David Ubben, The Oklahoman
Taken from "Landry Jones and his mustache reach celebrity status," NewsOK.com

I mean, with a mustache like that, I'm surprised he took a break from luring kids into his panel van to play a football game. Doesn't he just look like a person who would offer your kids suckers in the park? CREEPY!

Apparently the mustache is a big enough craze that the Daily Oklahoman, our fab daily newspaper here, wrote a story about it. And in that story? A quote from the head of the American Mustache Institute.

Not only is there an advocacy group for facial hair, it's been around for nearly half a century. And you must visit the website, it's amazing. Gallery of famous mustaches? Check. Logo complete with handlebar American flag? Check, baby! A picture guide to the 13 main mustache styles? Check! (Landry Jones is sporting the Chevron, but I think he could totally pull off the Imperial or Walrus)

Even though I think it will, the world never ceases to amaze me.

P.S. Holy moly, I just discovered a link on the page to the Stache Bash, held yearly in St. Louis because it's home to the Gateway Arch, the "largest mustache in the world." Oh my God, I want to go so badly!

Your mission, should you choose to create it

2009-09-09T14:00:00.005-05:00

I hate mission statements on resumes, because really, the whole objective is to get a job. Why even put some buzzword-y, jargony mess on your resume? Although, I have to say that I love this mission statement that was shared with me by a friend:

To effectively create the implementation of any conceivable idea that contributes positively towards benefiting the organization where I am called to serve, the community where I live and then the nation and may be the entire human race.

Changing course of the human race, one conceivable idea at a time...

Warning: Rant Ahead

2009-09-02T11:43:00.006-05:00

Have you heard about the health care debate? It turns out it's getting pretty heated out there. People are bringing assault rifles to town hall meetings, using questionable rhetoric and more, but nothing is more disturbing to me than this video of a pastor who preached during this sermon that he wanted Obama to die, for his daughters to be left fatherless and for his wife to be left a widow.

As a Christian, I can't believe that someone is using my religion to spread this kind of hate. I disagree with the politics of many, but I would never wish for their deaths. The fact that he cloaks this hatred and vile sentiment in Christianity makes me sick. What have we come to?

Clown Car, or how I didn't see Stoney LaRue

2009-08-25T12:01:00.003-05:00

Last Friday night, I was all set to go to College Days with my neighbor Kathy. Mitch was at a football scrimmage reffing, so I figured it could be a fun girls night. It's amazing how wrong I was about that.

Around 9:15, as Kathy and I were gathering our stuff to leave the house, I got a call from Mitch. Apparently, the man who carpooled all the referees to the football scrimmage in Cleveland (45 minutes from Stillwater) took his car key off his key ring. This makes sense because, well hey, he didn't want all those keys to weigh him down during the scrimmage.

Turns out a single key can fall out of a pocket pretty damn easy though.

SO, despite the fact that they had two football teams helping comb the field and a metal detector, the key was lost.

Enter Valerie, coming to the rescue, in her trusty blue Jetta.

I forgot how small a Jetta really is. When I finally got to the field and picked up the 5 large men, I realized that my car only seats 5. DAMN.

I sucked it up and made the only logical choice. Mitch would have to drive, and I would have to be uncomfortable. And so ends the story of how I spent Friday night sitting in the lap of a man that was not my husband.

Awkward.

August already?

2009-08-10T11:04:00.003-05:00

So I had intended to post vacation pictures, talk about the Stillwater tweetup last Wednesday and all sorts of other interesting things.

But then our computer died. Again.

UGH!

So instead I took this weekend to clean the house, which has been seriously ignored for basically the whole summer. My to-do list was about 20 items long, and I actually got about 8 done, so I'm calling that a victory.

Eventually I'll post the pictures from our vacation in New Mexico, including the rampage of a black bear through our cabin.

But for now, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that school starts in a week.

1 down, 64 to go.

2009-07-26T15:26:00.000-05:00

Happy anniversary, Mitch. I can't believe it's been a year already.

It was an amazing year, full of surprises and challenges, but mostly laughter and love.

The next 64 are going to be even better.

I love you!

(Obligatory wedding pics below. I'm a real blogger now!)

I love this picture.

For the win.

2009-07-25T20:00:00.001-05:00

Mine, all mine, in 2-8 business days. What a nice husband I have!

I'm SO excited.

*Ebay for $230. Suck it, Sprint. Your non-helpful customer service can kiss my rear end.

Paging Sherlock Holmes

2009-07-25T10:13:00.003-05:00

So last weekend, Mitch and I returned from a small road trip. On that trip, I started a book, a really interesting book that I was only about 20 pages into, but was already captivated.

When we got home, I grabbed the book from the trunk and walked into the house.

This is when the mystery began.

It disappeared. Like, black hole vortex disappeared. It went to that place that only unmatched socks and kid's retainers go. I've been looking for it for a week now and I still can't find it. We live in a 900-square foot duplex, for Pete's sake! Where could it be?

I seriously need a detective. I don't think I can wait until we move to find this book!

An open letter to Stillwater drivers

2009-07-23T21:30:00.002-05:00

Dear Stillwater drivers,

Stop sucking please. Please review all traffic laws, including those that say you shouldn't weave in and out of traffic with only inches to spare. Also, please note that it is completely unnecessary to speed 30 mph above the speed limit in order to dart in front of me so you can turn when there is absolutely no traffic behind us.

And to the driver of the Explorer at Miller and Duck today, please review the section of traffic laws that says when the light turns green, the person going straight gets to go first. I know this is difficult, and a complete throwback to that one day of drivers ed you took years ago, but it would be so much easier than just flying through the intersection with me honking at you and everyone else flipping you off.

And to the man in the Honda behind me at the red light at Lakeview and Main today, please note that while it is convenient to turn right at a red light, if the person in front of you isn't turning, YOU CAN'T EITHER. Honking and flipping me off might make you feel better, but it still won't get me to run a red light so you can turn faster. Please change your behavior, because next time I'm definitely sitting at that light until it turns yellow while flipping you off, k?

Love,
The girl in the blue Jetta

Random Post of Nothingness

2009-07-21T13:23:00.004-05:00

1. Someone was casing our house last night. Mitch and I went outside our house to go get frozen yogurt and saw two women and a baby sitting in an old green Mazda in front of our house. The car was running, lights off, and sitting in front of a fire hydrant. I pointed out that they probably weren't going to steal from us, because who brings a baby on a stakeout? When we got back, they were gone so they probably ~~got all the intel they needed~~ were just hanging out.

2. Somehow, I got sucked into watching this season of the Bachelorette, and now I've become that person I used to think had a screw loose. I watched the "After the Rose" tell-all special last night, which is especially sad since it really isn't even new content. And even worse? I was screaming at the screen during the scenes from next week portion where they revealed a big secret. I'm so ashamed.

3. Our first anniversary is just a few days away, which blows my mind. It seems like it was only a few weeks ago that we were at our wedding. Don't worry, I'll do the obligatory wedding photo anniversary post.

4. My eye twitch hasn't gone away. Even worse, it has started to twitch even when I'm not looking at a computer screen, which has convinced me that I'm probably going blind....or I need glasses.

Phew, glad I got all that out of my brain! What's the randomest thing that's happened to you recently?

Dancing with the Star Wars

2009-07-10T10:37:00.003-05:00

Who knew that Disney World had Star Wars weekends during summers? And even better, who knew that they have a dance contest each year?

Absolute classic.

2007: '70s Disco theme

2008: '80s theme

2009: '90s theme

Twitch.

2009-07-09T11:56:00.003-05:00

This week has been full of challenges, which is to say, things that make my eye twitch.

I'm serious. I can't get my eye to stop twitching. It's really weird to look at, and I think it scares Mitch a little.

What's stressing me out, you ask?

1. My bag got stolen at the gym.
Luckily, after freaking out, filing a report and being generally angry, some nice guys turned my bag in to the Colvin Center managers a few hours later. They noticed my bag just sitting in the corner of the gym they were in (NOT the one I had been) with the phone ringing uncontrollably, so they returned it to management. Nothing was missing, thank God!

As wonderful as it is to have my stuff back, I'm really curious what happened. When the cop had come originally, he checked the gym where my bag was found and said there was nothing in there. So it was either dumped after he checked, or he missed it the first time. And we still don't know why someone took it. Our best guesses are that it was a mistake (highly unlikely, my bag is very unique and girly), that it was a prank or that someone took it intending to steal but didn't like my meager belongings (crappy cell phone and old ipod with my name engraved in it). I'm glad to be done with the ordeal, but I think it shortened 3 years off my life.

2. My car is acting all freaky deaky.
After my dentist appointment yesterday, my car decided that it would freak out and the electrical panel on the dashboard went nutzo. The clock and odometer were flashing and going on and off, the gas gauge read empty and wouldn't work for a while and it made a horrible beeping sound for nearly 3 minutes. Also, my airbag light is on, which means I might be driving without airbags. Hooray! I managed to have a mechanic glance at it since we were in OKC and didn't want to drive a deathtrap back to Stillwater. He said "Volkswagens are weird. Sometimes warning lights just go on and off. There's really no rhyme or reason to it." Fantastic.

The car has recovered slightly, but the airbag light is still on. The mechanic said to give it a few weeks and see if it just goes off on its own, as VWs are prone to do. Sigh.

3. My freaking eye is twitching! Apparently it is caused by eye fatigue and stress (I'm looking at you, annual report and InDesign!). The irony? The twitching eye is increasing my stress.

Does anyone else get the twitches? How do you handle your stress?

Happy 5th of July!

2009-07-05T11:43:00.003-05:00

I would have said Happy 4th yesterday, but I was too busy getting ready for our party. But I figure the poor 5th of July never gets any attention anyway, so it could use a shoutout.

We had a small handful of people over for a barbeque, and as usual, I went way overboard. I think we had 10 people total at our largest point, and I made something like 45 cupcakes with dyed icing. Really, Valerie? I'll be eating cupcakes until I die....probably from icing overload.

(By the way, why is it icing and not frosting? What's the difference? Is it a regional thing or are they really different?)

Mitch made hot dogs, hamburgers and chicken wings. Our neighbor Kathy made potato salad and a chocolate pie (soooo good.) and I contributed my first ever Deviled Eggs and some improvised whiskey beans. I feel like our Colonial ancestors would approve of using good ole' Jim Beam whiskey in our 4th of July celebration.

We also played croquet and Trivial Pursuit, which caps a pretty good day for me. We were correct in our guess that we would have an excellent view of the Stillwater fireworks from our back porch. The thunderstorms delayed things a bit, but we still got a great show.

Happy Belated 4th everyone. And 5th of July? We still love you!

Groan.

2009-06-30T14:05:00.003-05:00

I was walking through campus yesterday when I came upon a large sign emphasizing the dangers of cigarettes. It was one of the ones where they show all the harmful things that are in cigarettes, like arsenic, tar, ammonia, etc. Something like this, except the one on campus was 10 feet long and had double the amount of items identified:
And just as I walked by, I heard a Physical Plant worker say to his buddy:

"That's crap. If all that stuff was really in cigarettes, they wouldn't be able to sell them."

Sigh.

Warning: Rant Ahead

2009-06-24T08:38:00.005-05:00

I was clicking through the offers for freecycle in my email today when I noticed a trend that really made me angry.

People are putting their pets up for adoption and trying to give them away. Some of the reasons?

"Our children are all teenagers now & nobody spends time with her anymore."
"The only reason I need a new home for him is because he loves to run and play and I don't have a fence." Of course, the next sentence in this one was "Please contant me if intersted." Seriously?
"We are getting rid of her because we just don't have the time for her."
"My reason for trying to rehome them is that I am very pregnant and they have become a tripping hazard for me." (A golden retriever mix and a pit bull mix? You won't be pregnant in 2 months!)
"I have to get rid of them due to the fact that I am moving to an apartment and they don't allow dogs where I am going."

I find this ridiculous. When you get a pet, you are making a serious, 10-20 year commitment. It is unacceptable to simply find a new home for a pet because it would be easier to not have a pet. When Mitch and I moved, we simply crossed rental property off our list if it didn't allow pets. We wouldn't get rid of our ~~dog~~ child because we could find a cuter apartment without him. And we certainly didn't get rid of him because we couldn't find the time to be a good pet owner. We make time.

Before I get an angry email from my one reader, I will agree that some instances do necessitate finding your animal a new home. If you move abroad, your pet might be required to be quarantined for up to a year. If you live alone and are pregnant, you can't medically clean a cat's litter box. If you have children and your dog becomes aggressive, you should protect your children. And I'm sure there are a number of other, quite valid reasons.

But the willingness to give pets up when they simply become inconvenient really makes me mad. Before you get rid of a pet, try this: put up a fence, exercise your dog, carve a half hour out of your schedule to play with it, find an apartment that allows pets. Basically, take some responsibility, people!

Phew, I feel better. What are your thoughts on the matter?

911, What Is Your Emergency?

2009-06-22T14:24:00.003-05:00

On our way home from my parents' house last night, I had the opportunity to do two things I had never, never ever done before.

I called 911, and I called the Oklahoma Highway Patrol.

For two completely unrelated incidents. Talk about an exciting drive home.

It started innocently enough. We were driving down Waterloo toward I-35 when we saw smoke. And where there's smoke, there's fire. And where there is fire in late June, there is probably an idiot teenager running away with a *mostly* full box of bottle rockets.

Someone had caught a very large tree and a sign for the housing addition on fire. Big, bright, orange flames shot up, only 8 feet from a large group of cedar trees. Danger!

So I called 911 on my cell phone, after a moment of panic in which I thought there would be no way for the mysterious 911 person to know where I was. Silly Valerie, technology is amazing. The fire department was already on its way. Success!

Mitch and I continued home, talking in amazement about the fire and calling emergency crews and blah blah blah.

Until we nearly drove over a very large dead deer on Highway 33. It stretched the entire length of the other lane, and its head was sticking into our lane. We were able to swerve and avoid it, but felt this just might be a safety concern for all those folks driving the other way.

*55 for the Oklahoma Highway Patrol and a quick explanation later, we were home safely and went straight to bed.

It's hard work saving lives, you know?

Love, Twoo Love.

2009-06-19T15:00:00.000-05:00

Mitch and I are off to a wedding this weekend.

Mitch's friend Dustin

and my friend Megan

are getting married!

These two met at my birthday party, so I'm going to claim responsibility for their happiness and future babies and all of that.

See at this birthday party, there were some drinks. And many people had many drinks. Lovely Megan had just enough drinks to make her Silly Megan. Silly Megan thought it would be a good idea to sit on a styrofoam ice chest since all the chairs were taken. Silly Megan!

The ice chest exploded, sending ice, water and beer everywhere. Dustin, being the gentleman that he is, grabbed a towel and helped with the cleanup efforts. Despite being mortified, Megan must have made an impression that night, because two weeks later, they had their first date!
So, they're pretty adorable and we can't wait to be a part of the beginning of their married life. Congrats you two!

And don't worry, we'll bring a plastic ice chest from now on.

Extra, Extra!

2009-06-18T10:14:00.007-05:00

Time for Valerie's life update, which one could technically argue is really the only point of having a blog....hmm.

We've been through some major changes in the Naked Wifedom lately.
1. We got another dog.
Her name is Scooter, she's a very cuddly and soft black lab. That's a labrador retriever for those of you who, well....I hope no one needed to be told that. If you did, here's a picture of what black labs look like. Also, here's your sign.
Scooter looks a lot like this dog in the picture, except way more cool. This coolness is mostly due to her orange collar and OSU dog bone shaped tag with her name on it. I would have included a picture, but I somehow lost my camera battery charger in the move. Just think of this as me contributing to the development of your imagination...or something like that.

2. Speaking of animals, our neighbor finally moved in. We were a little worried it might be a couple frat guys who would be throwing up in our nearly communal backyard all the time, but really it was Kathy, the veterinarian. Kathy is 25 like me, but unlike me, she's a graduate of Texas A&M vet school, making her a doctor.

Unfortunately for us, Kathy is a large-animal vet who will be working on the "Food Animal and Fiber" rotation as an intern at OSU's vet school. If you're as confused as I was, you're really confused right now. Food and Fiber means all those animals who are raised for food (cows, sheep, pigs, cats [I kid!]) as well as llamas and alpacas (fiber animals, hey it all makes sense!). I guess vets in Texas won't touch llamas, so there's a lucrative market for a Texas vet who works with fiber animals.

Learn something new every day.

3. Ikea exploded on my bedroom. Mitch and I bought a bed and 2 nightstands from Ikea when we were in Dallas for the George Strait concert. Unfortunately, we had to grab the last headboard from the store that day, and when we arrived home 5 hours later and I was about to pee myself out of excitement, it was broken. I cried. Honestly. 4 months of anticipation down the toilet!

So the next weekend, while Mitch was at a bachelor party ~~watching strippers~~ fishing, Mom and I ventured down to Dallas again to return it....and buy a million other things. That store is addictive, I swear.

But, as a reward for making it a year (almost) with Mitch, Mom bought me a dresser and two lamps. And a microplane grater. And an ambiance light. Our bedroom officially looks like the bedroom of a married couple and not a skeezy college couple. It's divine. The nice result is that I make the bed every morning now because I actually care about how it looks.

Oh look! Another great opportunity to use your imagination to picture our bedroom!

Sigh, ok I'll find the battery replacement soon.

An open letter to M.B.

2009-06-15T11:07:00.004-05:00

Does anyone remember this? My very own real-life reporting controversy? Well, I thought it was over, but I recently received a message from MB, asking that I remove his name from my blog post. There were a few other choice tidbits, but he asked that I not include his message on my blog. I will, however, share my response. This blog is a documentation of my life, and I will not censor my life for your comfort.

Dear MB,
I do realize the power that the internet has. But what you need to realize, and what seems to be missing from your message, is any culpability for your role in this situation. When this situation arose, I didn't get a message from you asking for the article to be removed. Rather, you provided your mother with inaccurate and incomplete information that she then used to attempt to have the article removed. This put my credibility at question, and I'm sure you can understand how I would protect my reputation and credibility vigorously.

Was I angry that you claimed to have no previous knowledge that the article would be published when our phone conversation and facebook messaging showed the opposite? Very. If you refuse to admit that you were informed of the potential for publishing during the phone interview, I can't prove otherwise. But I can, and did, prove that you were informed through facebook message two days before the article was published. If you had any objections, that would have been the time to voice them.

There are quite a few things about this incident that anger me, but the greatest is the fact that you seem incapable of accepting any culpability for the potential damage to your job prospects. I was not the one who was arrested and charged with a felony. I reported the facts that I gained through public records. I reported the fair and honest truth. You were not misquoted or misrepresented. To claim that I "want to destroy any future career hopes" you have or "seem intent on ruining your future," that is ridiculous and offensive to me. The only thing that could ruin your chances of getting a job is your own mistake.

I will replace your name on my blog post with initials, because I do ultimately want every one of my fellow OSU graduates to succeed. We are all part of the same university family. I will not remove the post, because I feel it is important to leave my defense of my reputation online.

Do not, for any reason, view this removal as justification of your actions in trying to handle this matter. Your behavior has been incredibly immature and unprofessional. Giving your mother incomplete and inaccurate information, allowing your mother to handle the situation for you, leaving me this juvenile message with accusations about my desire for you to fail in your professional life?

Grow up.

Sincerely,
The Naked Wife

Still not your wife: the saga continues

2009-06-09T10:19:00.003-05:00

I got another email from my our illustrious Congressional liason. (See Part 1 and Part 2 if you need background.)

Apparently, I need to kick in some money for gift certificates for 'our' son's soccer coach.

I think the time has come to start emailing this guy back.

Any suggestions?

Higher Liar, Pants on Fire!

2009-06-04T16:04:00.010-05:00

Yesterday, I got a phone message from Barbara Allen, the new O'Colly adviser. She said something along the lines of "I've got a situation here that I wanted to talk to you about."

Of course, I was interested immediately...and a little bit obsessed and worried. Neurotic much? What could it be? I gave them my newsroom key back, didn't I? I never fired someone that could now claim sexual harassment, did I?

As it turns out, I wrote a story many months ago for my public affairs reporting class. And this article was published on the front page of the O'Colly. Go me!

In this article (which is supremely bad-ass, let me tell you what), I write about MB, an OSU student who was charged with felony marihuana possession after OSU police found 1/5 of an ounce in his dorm room. Felony because he was on a college campus, and Oklahoma law allows police to charge felony possession if the person is within 1000 feet of a school or park.

I used the public arrest record to find his name, and then found MB on facebook. I figured he would be perfect to talk to, since he was a member of the NORML facebook group and all. We facebook messaged a few times before I called him for an interview.

Flash forward to the present. Seems MB's mom found the article and asked him about it. He claimed he never knew the article would be printed in the O'Colly and that I tricked him. So his mommy called the O'Colly to have them correct this error. She even forwarded our facebook messages that showed I never mentioned the O'Colly when I contacted him.

Too bad I ALSO have those messages. Here are a few key messages that dear ole MB forgot to show Mommy:

MB: Dec. 6, 6:00pm "hey, hope that info helped ya out. You think you could email me the final report or somethin, I'm just curious to see what ya find out about this. Thanks"
Me: Dec. 10, 12:00 pm "Yeah, the story is going to run on Wednesday in the paper, hopefully. If not, I can send you a final result."
MB: Dec. 16, 12:22 am "hey, i never got a chance to get the paper on wed. ive been checking the website and it doesn't seem like it has been uploaded yet. if it's not going to get on there can you send it to me. mb@okstate.edu, thanks"

Me: Dec. 16, 1:29 am "sure, i'll send it to you now. the version in the paper was cut down a little bit, so i'll send the full story. thanks again for all your help!"

Umm, maybe this would be a good time to 'fess up to Mommy? Just claim you were too high to remember giving the interview. Heck, that might even be the truth.

I'm STILL not your wife...

2009-05-31T23:37:00.004-05:00

Remember our illustrious Congressional representative? The one who keeps emailing me as if I'm his wife, despite my numerous emails that assure him I am not?

Today I learned his son is playing summer league basketball.

And because the message he sent me was a forwarded message that the coach had sent to ALL the parents, it showed the wife's email address....which is exactly like mine, except it has 08 on the end.

So we now know:
1. Although he knows enough about the United States Geological Survey to serve as a Congressional Liason, he can't figure out how to add two digits to his wife's name to make the correct email address.
2. He forwards things to his wife despite the fact that it was already sent to her.
3. His son must be pretty sporty. That must go for all Wests. :)

Give me 30-minutes and 220 chicken wings...

2009-05-27T20:03:00.006-05:00

Mitch made chicken wings for dinner tonight. Now, I am not a chicken wing person. Mitch always tells me that I just don't know how to eat meat off the bone, which is definitely true.

But tonight? Tonight, I conquered the chicken wing. 6 wings met their maker tonight. And that maker was me. Boo-yah.

I think our next step is the competitive eating circuit. We're coming after you, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut. All we have to do is eat more than 214 in a 30-minute period. How hard can that be?

Uhh, on second thought...maybe we'll just stay at homemade wings.

Amarillo

2009-05-26T21:21:00.003-05:00

We're back from our trip to Amarillo. Great friends, fun times, creepy city.

Amarillo is odd in that there isn't really a good area of town. It's just small areas of nice houses surrounded by slums...lots of slums. In one of these slums was the flea market. We thought we might find some nice deals, so we tried it out.

If I had been looking for a nice deal on bongs, pinatas or any merchandise with the Virgin Mary on it, I would have been in luck.

When we left, we passed a few local attractions, including the nightclub Club Uneek and the strip club The Crystal Pistol. Classy!

During our time driving around Amarillo, I saw some weird street signs saying things like "It's the same brick in the ice pack/it's the same trick with an ice pick." If you're saying WTF, join the club. Apparently, artist Stanley Marsh 3 (Yes, that 3 is part of his name) is behind the signs, which are all over Amarillo. Marsh is the guy who did Cadillac Ranch.

Story goes that he put up a few signs and really irritated a woman in town. So when she complained, he really showed her by paying people to put other weird signs on their property. Now there are about 200 of them around the city. Ummm, k?

Despite Amarillo's weirdness, we had a great time. Amarillo has a free zoo where you can get about 3 feet from the animals. I could nearly touch the lion! And of course we had a great time hanging out and catching up with Mitch's best friend Brody and his wife, who are about to have a baby.

But the best part? Smores. Enough said. :)

I am not your wife!

2009-05-22T14:04:00.010-05:00

Today when I popped open my email, I saw a really strange message with the subject line, "FYI Mike Connor confirmed." The email was about Michael Connor being confirmed by the Senate as Commissioner of the U.S. Bureau of Reclamation.

Umm, whaaa? It was then that I realized that the email was not from my father (J. Tim West), but from Timothy J. West, my longtime email buddy who refuses to quit sending me emails intended for his wife, who shares my name.

Over the last 18 months, Timothy has sent me lots of messages, including important ones about how he forgot his cell phone and this email was the only way to communicate to his wife how they would be meeting up later that afternoon. He's also sent me information about his son's soccer schedule (Go NWAL-Arlington!).

So I did what any normal person would do. I sent him a very polite email explaining that I wasn't his wife (which he really should know) and that he probably wanted to fix this error so that his wife could receive these messages.

And I kept getting the emails. So I kept writing back.

And I kept getting emails.

Eventually, I just gave up on him. I figured that he obviously was technologically/intellectually challenged because he never wrote me back to acknowledge his error and he KEEPS WRITING ME.

The scariest thing about this post? I googled the guy and he's the freaking Congressional Liason for the United States Geological Survey.

The man who can't figure out that he isn't emailing his wife is responsible for being the voice of a major governmental organization to Congress.

*Face palm*

P.S.Good news: the motorcycle riding asshole waited until 6:45 this morning to jet out of the neighborhood at warp speed 4 on his ridiculously loud motorcycle. I remained calm, but I really wanted to go grab a huge stick and throw it into the spokes of his front tire. (Does it still count as road rage if you aren't technically driving? Hmm...)

Viva Mexico!

2009-05-21T11:17:00.004-05:00

If I seem to drop off the face of the earth, don't worry. It just means that I've been arrested for theft, vandalism or perhaps manslaughter.

Let me explain: I realized why Mitch and I haven't been sleeping. One of our idiot neighbors has a motorcycle....a LOUD one. And to prove he's Billy Badass, he likes to accelerate really quickly and drive in circles through the neighborhood. Awesome.

We discovered this when we were moving in, but I brushed it off because it was Sunday and it was beautiful outside. He was just enjoying the afternoon. Benefit of the freaking doubt, people.

But this morning, when it was 6:25 in the flipping AM, it was NOT ok.

I know where you live, I know what you drive. I can't be held responsible for my actions with no sleep.

But the police probably won't see it that way, so meet me in Mexico!

Well duh.

2009-05-20T22:45:00.005-05:00

I was driving home today when I saw a car pull out right in front of a car ahead of me. The car that got cut off had to slam on the brakes and swerve a little to avoid rear-ending the car ahead of it. Having the incredible road rage that I do (and man, do I have road rage!), I drove by and yelled, "Learn how to drive!"

Just as I realized the offending car was from the Cowboy Driving Academy.

*Forehead slap*

P.S. We went bowling tonight, which was a blast. I won the first game with a kickass score of 147. What's up now! Mitch didn't even get CLOSE, which is not surprising, considering he looks like a penguin when he bowls.

Back to the Internetz

2009-05-19T10:49:00.004-05:00

Back to the blog after days of moving and getting the internet set up and trying to find the deodorant that somehow got packed with the potato masher. Phew, it feels good to get back in the saddle.

Last night I learned a few things:
1. A bottle of champagne splits evenly into exactly 6 glasses, 3 for each of us.

2. 3 glasses of champagne is about one too many.

3. The Bachelorette is a hilarious show, although I think it's supposed to be romantic and heartfelt. Maybe I just don't have a romantic bone in my body, because we just laughed and laughed at all the potential daters last night. One guy calls himself Bilbro. Seriously. I nicknamed him Bilbro Douchebaggins and then giggled for 20 minutes. See #2.

4. It is possible to dang near get your nose broken in your sleep. Mitch has wild elbows when he's asleep.

5. Einstein has claimed the spare bedroom as his own. He dragged a blanket out of a box, curled it into a little bed and has taken to sleeping in there instead of in his crate or his doggy bed. These teenagers, they just need their freedom, I suppose.

Who knows what I'll learn tonight?

Open House

2009-05-15T23:48:00.009-05:00

I'm exhausted. Mitch and I have been packing and moving for a few days now, and I'm constantly amazed by how much stuff we have. Today I found a set of Western-themed ice cream sandwich molds. I packed it right next to the molds for the ice shot glasses.

This is the house we brought home our wedding loot to. So we have a tremendous amount of stuff. We started the packing process days ago, but we've gotten to the "just throw crap in a box" stage. We got there quickly.

The good news of the move is our new duplex. Our new place has a much bigger living space, a dining area, a fireplace, a fenced back yard and closets. Oh glorious closets! (Our current place has only 2 small closets in the entire place. We have loads of storage racks. It looks like a grocery store in here, everything exposed on a shelf.)

Here's the photo tour of the new place, in all it's empty glory.

This is the view when you first walk in. Well, really you'd see a faux wall made of bannister rails. Confused? So are we. The fireplace is nice, but the angle it's set on really makes living room layout complicated. I expect to make Mitch move the couch about 6 times tomorrow. (And it's a sleeper, hehe!) Hi Einstein! That door goes into the backyard. You'll have to use your imagination there, my camera was nearly dead.
Fireplace close-up. I'm actually digging this 70s rock look. You can't see it in the picture, but the gas pipe under the rack is broken off and all jagged looking. Umm, not so safe. I don't see any smores in our near future. Well, plus it is May...so we'll be okay for a while.

This is the brand spanking new linoleum in the entry way. It's crooked and makes me want to punch someone. I tried to add a rug, to camoflauge the crookedness but it just emphasized it. But then I was too lazy to move the rug, so looks like it's living there forever.Kitchen, or what you can see from the dining area. It's a tiny, galley-style kitchen with horribly outdated appliances, but it will do. The space between the open doorway and the door to the garage is where our fancy new washer and dryer will go. (As I write this, Mitch is reading the owner's manual IN GREAT DETAIL. We're both pretty pumped.) And you can't see this in this picture, but the cabinet handles are in the very center of each door, rather than on the bottom edge. And the handles are nearly 5 inches tall. Awesome.
Best bathroom fixture EVER. And an elaborate gold framed mirror? AMAZING.
By the way, in the 10 seconds I was in the bathroom taking the last picture, Einstein was sitting outside the closed door crying. Don't his eyes just look sad? The packing has made him really nervous so he's been pretty clingy.
The exterior. That shrubbery is trying to eat the sidewalk, but Mitch is going to trim it soon. Also note the small Boston Terrier who has a very low window that he can look out. It's like dog TV!
Stay tuned for furnished pictures.

Rescue mission

2009-05-13T23:06:00.003-05:00

It's 11 pm and I've been moving all day. I just sat down to bang out a real blog post, but just got a call from the parents who were on their way out of Stillwater. Seems Dad's truck lost all electrical power and they're stuck at the intersection of I-35 and Highway 51. So we're on our way out to rescue them.

This is so not the celebratory 30th consecutive blog post I had imagined.

Packing

2009-05-12T20:06:00.004-05:00

I finally got the call today that our new duplex is ready for us to move. While it is exciting to move into a place that has more room and better features (closets? Amazing!), moving requires packing. Packing might be my least favorite activity on the planet. Seriously. I would rather buy new stuff than move my existing stuff. If I had the money, I probably would just take a match to our old place.

But since I can't do that, does anyone want to come over and help pack? I'll give you guacamole and beer, promise!

(Photo tour of the new place soon!)

Luck be a lady

2009-05-11T20:44:00.003-05:00

Knock on wood and rub your magic rabbit foot. You're gonna need that luck to match the day I've had.

Mitch and I are moving, so I have been on a search for boxes. I casually mentioned to my friend Misty that I was looking for boxes, and she mentioned that she had TONS of boxes that she was *just* about to break down and recycle. Score!

And I happened to mention my box search to Andy, who works with me at the Library. He gave me another source for some boxes, which turned into another 4 or 5 boxes. I must be living right!

Now if a whole bunch of people magically showed up to my house to pack everything up, that would be the luckiest thing of all. A girl can dream...

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T16:16:00.005-05:00

This is my mama, who I love very much. And as today is Mother's Day, I give you my tribute post. My mom is an amazing woman, very full of faith and love. In fact, she and my daddy still love each other after 35 years of marriage.

But they also love to have fun with each other. I'm hoping Mitch and I can have both these traits in our marriage.
People say we look just alike. I don't see it...weird.
My mom and I have lots of fun together as well. Our wedding photographer told us to put our heads together and look serene or something like that....this is what he got.

I love you Mom!

Pomp and Circumstance

2009-05-09T14:19:00.008-05:00

My hubby graduated today. Hallelujah! He's been working so hard this semester to finish up on a good note, so I'm extremely proud of him.

His brother graduated too. This is an example of Mitch giggling like a little girl. Someone probably made fun of his brother. That someone was probably Mitch. My family came down too. I promise, we don't usually look this squinty.

They made us take embarrassing pictures too. Exhibit A:
Now if you will excuse me, I've eaten enough Hideaway pizza to kill a man. I need to go put on elastic pants and curl up into the fetal position.

Say a prayer...

2009-05-08T17:42:00.003-05:00

The whole family of in-laws are in town, and I do mean the whole family. Both sets of grandparents, including Mitch's paternal grandpa who is 99% blind and wears jumpsuits and is just the sweetest.

They're all staying at a hotel, thank God, so I think things will move more smoothly this weekend than in weekends past when we've tried to navigate 7 people in 2 houses with bed space for 3 people.

But today's bestest news is that Mitch is done done done with school. Forever. No more! Now all we have to do is move, buy new furniture and find the hubby the job of his dreams. Sigh, better say another prayer for us!

Gray weather is only nice in the Pacific Northwest

2009-05-07T16:58:00.007-05:00

This crappy weather lately has been making me think of our honeymoon, where the weather was cloudy and rainy but totally par for the course. Our Alaskan cruise was amazing, even when you consider the fact that the boat was completely taken over by the 2008 Patel Family Reunion. (Think 800 Patels...wowza.)

One of the stops on our cruise was Victoria, British Columbia. It may be the most beautiful city on the planet. They obsess over gardening there, so we saw some of the prettiest flowers.

We toured the Butchart Gardens, a huge series of gardens that a woman started around the turn of the 20th century. Her husband ran a cement plant, and the quarrying of limestone near their house outside of Victoria left a massive hole. So, Jennie decided to make the pit into a world-class garden, which would make it pretty and give her friends a reason to come out and visit her in her country setting.

This is the Sunken Gardens, which was created out of the limestone pit. It sinks like 300 feet from where you first walk into the area.
Jennie was inspired and kept working on her gardens, adding a Rose garden and Japanese garden and English garden and all kinds of things (The website has professional photos. Be impressed!) She even hired a famous Japanese landscape architect to come create the Japanese garden, and this was in the 1910s.

Shortly after this picture, a 65-year-old woman got pissy with me because I stopped to take a picture. I may have been on my honeymoon, but I was not afraid to get physical.
At one point, there was this cool little cut-through where you could see the ocean.
At the end of the garden tour, we saw a fireworks show. And although I feel a little unpatriotic saying this because I love America and all, this Canadian fireworks show was the best I've ever seen! It was set to music and all kinds of amazing.

I am not so amazing, and thus took only one picture. Back off, people!

Sass Monster

2009-05-06T22:42:00.003-05:00

I've been a total crankster this evening, which is just so unfortunate for Mitch. And what's worse, I have my second overnight shift at the Library tonight...in about three hours. That means very little sleep before I go. Hopefully I won't OD on caffeine like I did last night.

This whole blogging every day thing has been easy for me, until today. Maybe it was my sassy attitude today, who knows? I'm just glad to have remembered for today...another day, another blog. Sigh.

Cinco de Mayooooo

2009-05-05T21:42:00.005-05:00

Cinco de Mayo is an amazing holiday. Really. Most people think it's the Mexican Independence Day, but that happened in September 1810 with the Grito de Dolores, a sort of Mexican Independence war cry. Cinco de Mayo is really a celebration of the Mexican army's victory against invading French forces in 1862.

Yes, Mexicans celebrate this day because its the only time they successfully repelled a foreign invader. Out of respect and reverence for that success, Americans drink copious amounts of tequila and wear culturally insensitive costumes. Hooray!

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, a group of us went to Palomino's, the newest Mexican food restaurant in Stillwater. They have a spinach-artichoke queso that is served with pita chips. It's to die for....honestly. At the very least, someone sold their soul to the devil for a product this good. (Mitch definitely read over my shoulder and told me 'Oh my Gosh, the spinach-artichoke queso is not even that good.' Clearly he's a robot or he's been paid off by one of the other 36 Mexican restaurants in town....or both.)

Today is also National Teachers' Day, which I think is quite fitting. After all, who needs a shot of tequila more than all those underappreciated and underpaid teachers?

Night at the Library

2009-05-04T16:13:00.000-05:00

Man, weird things happen at the Library overnight. I can say this with confidence now that I worked my 2-7:30 a.m. shift last night. I was so pumped to start because, like I said, I'm taking over the Library.

But when I got there, it was like I was in an alternate universe. It's the same building where I spend my days, but weird people were there and it was all dark outside...freaky deaky.

During my first hour, I walked the floors. I spotted a table that had 2 iPods, 3 cell phones, a wallet, 2 laptops and 3 backpacks full of books....completely unattended. People this stupid deserve to have their valuables stolen. I walked by 15 minutes later and it was STILL unattended. I should have taken an iPod and the wallet on principle.

I also noticed a guy around 2:15 that was playing a first-person shooter on one of the computers. I didn't think much of it at the time, but it got a little weird at 7 a.m. when I realized he'd been playing it for 5 freaking hours. It totally didn't help that he looked really creepy.

I kept walking the floors until I came to five study desks arranged in a fort. That alone was weird, but then I noticed a girl sleeping on the floor inside the fort. Umm, I would rather stay up for 36 hours than sleep on the carpet in the Library. Ewww.

Speaking of, I've been up for about 29 hours at this point, and I'm exhausted. The incredible amounts of caffeine I've ingested were definitely not good for my stomach. The good news is that we bought the washer and dryer of my dreams today. In two weeks, I'll be doing laundry the way God intended, 23 towels at a time.

Post of Randomness

2009-05-03T21:19:00.005-05:00

Winner Winner, Taco Bell dinner!
When we went to Taco Bell for supper tonight, I definitely won an order of cinnamon twists by successfully catching a nickel on the revolving thingie. Yeah, I'm totally awesome.

Fortune cookie FTW
Mitch had Chinese food for supper, which is just gross. But since I went with him to grab it, he bought me a fortune cookie. Score! The fortune was totally awesome for this point in our lives: "The hard times will begin to fade. Joy will take their place." I think the Chinese food cosmos is trying to tell us that school is over and life is about to get so much less stressful. Yay!

8 pm tomorrow's going to suck.
Tonight is my first overnight shift at the Library, which is kindof cool but kindof awful. I'm excited for the extra money, but not excited for this time tomorrow, at which point I will be exhausted and feel like dying. I'm expecting to drink about 4-5 mochas and at least 3 Red Bulls in the next 24 hours. Is that healthy?

T minus one week

2009-05-02T14:38:00.003-05:00

In one week, Mitch will be graduating from college. I've waited a really, really long time for this, and I couldn't be more excited. He's got his second interview on Tuesday for an eye technician job at an optometrist's office, so that's even more exciting.

What is not all that exciting? Mitch's whole family is coming into town, and we still don't know where they're staying or what we're doing after the commencement ceremony. Ahh, stress!

May Day Memories

2009-05-01T15:25:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, I was six. (Sometimes I outdo myself in my writing. I mean, that line? Pure poetry.)

And when I was six, a boy from my neighborhood liked me and wanted to give me flowers. He carefully arranged with my mother to have her let him into our house when I was distracted so he could hang a construction paper bouquet of flowers on my bedroom door knob. I imagine my mother was overcome by how precious this whole thing was. I, on the other hand, discovered the flowers and was immediately both embarrassed and curious.

Mom wouldn't tell me who gave me the flowers, so I had to become a detective. I asked lots of questions and hunted for clues before I finally figured out that it was a boy from the next street over. Case closed. I had no interest in the boy, but the detective work sure was exciting.

Nearly 20 years later on this May Day, I wish I just had some flowers. Husband, you can keep the mystery, just leave the daisies.

How am I supposed to stalk people now?

2009-05-01T12:11:00.003-05:00

Facebook, in its constant updating frenzy, has changed the Friends page to make it easier for people to categorize their friends and keep lists.

But, it has removed the feature that allowed me to click on the friends tab and see what people were changing on their profiles. Damn it, I want to know when someone changes their job history. What if he or she got a really great new job and now I'll never know?

And let's not even discuss the impact this will have on the efficacy of my facebook stalking.

What is the world coming to when a person can't keep tabs on all the casual acquaintances in her life? Great, now I need a new hobby...

Dorkus Maximus

2009-04-30T14:39:00.005-05:00

All over Twitter lately, graduating seniors have been going on and on about last days of class, things they will miss about Stillwater and all that jazz. One of those soon-to-be-grads, GPaul, is one of those super students who wins all kinds of awards and stuff.

Once upon a time, I was one of those seniors, except without the whole leaving Stillwater thing and winning awards, but whatever....I digress.

That GPaul, he's also my friend. So, since he will soon be gone, I need to hurry up and embarrass him with ancient photos of his ultimate dorkiness.
He sure is excited about school...that must be how he won so many awards. :)

Love and hearts and all that stuff.

2009-04-29T14:47:00.007-05:00

I looked for a new facebook pic today. As I was scrolling through my photos and listening to this, I realized I've been married 9 months. It's a crazy feeling, since it feels like it's been just weeks since our wedding.

Marriage is a crazy thing. No matter how prepared you feel, nothing compares to that first fight when you're living together and you realize you can't just escape to your apartment for a breather. And although I loved Mitch before we got married, I find moments where I feel myself loving him more and more.

Of course there are also moments where I look at him and think, "Good Lord, what have I gotten myself into?" Fortunately, those are few and far between...and usually involve him talking to himself in the shower (Who does that, I mean...weirdo.)

Marriage is amazing, rewarding, stressful and more challenging than I thought, but I'm so happy we did it. I must really be feeling the love today.

(Because I was feeling so lovey today, I picked this picture, which I love, for Facebook. Laugh lines are signs of a happy life, right?)

I'm taking over.

2009-04-28T20:50:00.004-05:00

You know, until I started working at the library, I never knew just how many services it offered. Really. I mean, I knew how to check out books and laptops, about the journals and articles, etc. But one thing I definitely did NOT realize is how many people work at the library and how many different departments comprise it.

But, today I trained to work 24-hour access for finals week and learned how to work security and circulation. I'm pretty sure I can basically run the library now. Maybe I should tell the Dean that...she's probably going to be pretty pumped about it.

I'm set now for my two overnight shifts: Monday morning 2-7:30 am and Thursday 2-7:30. I'm so looking forward to them. Bonnie said you can usually catch someone having a breakdown, so I'm pretty pumped for that. Witnessing one, not the fact that it's happening, of course. Geez people, what do you think I am, a monster?

P.S. Feeling much better. I think my body might have actually been able to fight off the infection. If so, this will be a first!